


Falling (falling)

by basicallyiwriteshit



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders - Freeform, Car Accidents, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders - Freeform, Eventual Prinxiety, Hospitals, Injury, Kidnapping, Logic | Logan Sanders - Freeform, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mentions of Drug Use and Abuse, Mentions of Unplanned Pregnancy, Morality | Patton Sanders - Freeform, Other, Prinxiety - Freeform, Running Away, mentions of child and domestic abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-02-15 07:27:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 24,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13026147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basicallyiwriteshit/pseuds/basicallyiwriteshit
Summary: Virgil Sanders, a single dad, is going through some financial struggles and-- against his better moral judgement, puts an ad on craigslist for a roommate/babysitter. He doesn’t expect to get a reply, but one comes along in the form of one Roman Carter-Price; struggling actor extraordinaire. Something else he doesn’t expect– to fall for his new roommate, who’s surprisingly good with kids. Maybe, just maybe, life will turn around for this little family.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit short whoops

Virgil sighs and looks at his work schedule. Three fifteen hour plus shifts in a row? And class immediately after? He’s going to need a lot of coffee. Not to mention his babysitter quit. It’s not his fault he can’t pay her what she wants! He gives her every dime he doesn’t spend on rent, groceries, or his kids, and she still wants more! If he’s going to get a new babysitter, he’s going to need to get a roommate. 

He groans. Life is  _not_  going the way he wants it right now. At least Logan and Patton aren’t home right now to see him like this, they’d think it’s their fault. They always seem to do that. It isn’t their fault their mother’s a deadbeat–

No. He can’t blame her. She’s not…She’s not the problem either. The problem is that Virgil didn’t go to college sooner– that he got her pregnant in the first place, that he couldn’t stop her addiction before she got arrested, that– 

…That he’s a failure. 

“Dad? We’re home!” The sound of Logan and Patton letting themselves in the door startles Virgil, and he jumps, looking at the clock in the corner of the tiny little house they rent. He forces a smile on his face and flips his work schedule over so the twins, both rather smart for kindergarteners, can read it. 

“Hi boys! How was school today? I’m sorry I didn’t meet you at the bus stop, time must’ve gotten away from me.” 

“It was good,” Patton, the older of the twins by five minutes, plops on the couch next to him and Logan climbs up next to his brother. “Those mean big kids were mean to Logan again.” 

“Did you tell the teachers?” Virgil asks, upset he can’t do anything to help his boys at school. Patton nods. 

“Yup. They had to sit out the rest of recess. They’re going to be maaad tomorrow.” 

“Well let’s hope they don’t pick on either of you anymore.” 

“I don’t think being told to stop is going to make them,” Logan pipes in weakly, shrugging. “People are mean sometimes.” 

Virgil coos, and pulls Logan over Patton and into his lap. His youngest sniffles and rubs at his eyes under his glasses. “Shh, baby, it’s okay. You’ve experienced too much in this world in the short time you’ve been on earth, but dad’s gonna make it better. Okay?” 

Logan sniffles again, but nods. “K- Kay,” He says. 

“Now.” Virgil ruffles Logan’s hair, smiling. “How about we get some ice cream? Daddy still has some cash left over after buying groceries and you two need a treat.” 

Patton perks up at that. “Treat? Ice cream?” 

Virgil laughs. “Yep! Go put your backpacks away and then we can go. How’s that sound?” 

“Perfect!” Patton practically flies out of his seat, grabbing Logan’s hands immediately and dragging him along to their shared room. “C’mon Lo, c’mon! Ice cream! Ice cream!” 

Virgil smiles, shaking his head. He sits up, pulling his phone from his pocket and pulling up craigslist, posting in the local ads. 

**_:WANTED: Single dad of two in financial trouble in need of roommate or childcare provider willing to work for 5$ an hour:_ **

He’s being stupid. He knows he is– putting some stranger in the mix with his children, his babies. This stranger could be a murderer, or a rapist, or– or– 

“What’cha doin’ dad?” 

Virgil jumps, muffling a curse with his hand, and turns to Patton and Logan in the doorway of the living room. 

“Yeah, we can’t get ice cream if you don’t get your jacket on.” 

“I’m sorry,” Virgil says, smiling. He tucks his phone in his pocket, and grabs his jacket, sliding it on. He grabs both boys by the hands, and leads them out of the house, dropping Logan’s hand to lock the door behind him before picking it up again and leading them downtown. 

Later, while Logan and Patton are gobbling down their small chocolate cones, Virgil’s phone dings with a notification. 

**_Private message from Roman.C.P: I saw your ad looking for a roommate/childcare provider? I can provide both._ **

Virgil blinks at his phone a second, amazed. He hadn’t thought he’d get a response at all, let alone so soon. He contemplates it, frowning. He knows that this probably isn’t smart. He could pretend he never posted the ad. He could delete it and go on with his life. 

But he can’t. 

_**Virgil.San.ders: How soon can you move in?** _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: all “baby-babble” in this fic is omitted. Use your imagination on the way the twins pronounce words! What kind of speech inflections do six year olds have? Kindergartners are actually really good at pronouncing their r’s and their l’s, and don’t really shorten words as much as younger kids. They may use words like “meaned” instead of “meant” and stuff like that, but ultimately, the “Sowwy daddy I fowgowt” isn’t actually a thing. And! Kids stutter! Especially using big words and when they’re emotional! Thank you this has been my Ted talk

Virgil meets Roman the next day, during his break between class and work. It’s late, but Roman seemingly doesn’t have anything to do, so he meets Virgil at a coffee shop near the current house of the couch he’s sleeping on. Virgil can’t judge, though; when he was with– …the boys’ mom, before they were born, they did their fair share of couch-hopping. 

He can, however, judge the man’s career choice. 

“…Acting? In rural Florida?” He asks, raising an eyebrow. Roman had informed Virgil that he was three years out of college for teaching high school literature, but he had decided to pursue acting, and that’s the reason why he’s currently jobless (and, consequently, homeless). 

Roman simply just scoffs at him. “There are plenty of theatre opportunities here! Local theaters pay community actors quite well, actually, for their professional productions. They’re just…few and far between…” He seems to deflate. “…And even then, the part isn’t guaranteed… And you have to pay for your own transportation if the venue is far away… And–” 

“I get it,” Virgil sighs, rubbing his temple. He has a feeling that Roman could go on and on, if he let him. “How are you with kids? You said you could provide childcare for my twins until you could afford to pay rent?” 

“That I did!” Roman says, perking up again, but soon his confident grin falters. “…How old are they?” 

“Six.” 

“Six?” Virgil nods, not liking the other’s now nervous grin. “I…have seen a six year old before. If that goes for anything.” 

Virgil sighs. “Well, you’re the only one that’s replied to the ad, and I think you’re the only one that will. So…the spare room is yours.” 

The “spare room” is actually Virgil’s, they don’t have any more rooms, but he can sleep in the basement; it’s half flooded most of the year and smells of mildew, but he has no other option. There’s no way a full grown adult would want to share a room with another full grown adult, and the boys already share a room. 

He can brave the basement. 

“So? Is it a deal, then?” Roman asks, raising his eyebrows. Virgil nods, and his new roommate grins. “Perfect! When can I move in?” 

Roman is able to move in the next Thursday, before the twins come back from school. There’s only a few things to put in his new room, so Virgil and Roman chat idly on the couch. Soon the door slams open and Patton comes running in, Logan following behind slower. 

“Dad! Dad! The big kids hitted Logan in the face today! It throwed his glasses off his face!” Patton yells, tugging a startled Virgil by the hand to his brother in the doorway. Logan has a darkening bruise on his cheek, and immediately parental rage flows through Virgil. He scoops up Logan, looking at his face and fussing over his youngest. 

“Logan, sweetie, are you okay? Oh, dear, I’m so  _sorry_. Patton,” He looks down to Patton, still fussing over Logan even though he keeps trying to squirm away (”I’m  _fine_ , dad, put me  _down_ ”). “Did those boys get in trouble?” 

Patton nods, pulling something from his backpack and handing it to his father. “The teacher said to give you this. The boys are su– sp– s’pended.” 

“Good.” He kisses Logan’s forehead before setting him down. “Why didn’t I get a call?” 

“Th’ school didn’t wanna b- bother you.” 

Virgil is  _livid_  to hear this. 

“They wh–” He crumbles up the ball in his hand and tosses it in the garbage across the room, groaning. He sighs, smiling at Patton. “Thank you for bringing me the note, Pat. You’re very responsible, little guy.” 

“Hitting isn’t right.” Patton says, crossing his arms with a frown, stomping a little foot. “Why are big kids so mean?” 

“I don’t know, love,” Virgil mumbles, patting his eldest on the head. “I don’t know. But– things’ll get better. Daddy’s going to be going to your school and talking to the principal as soon as he can.” 

“Daddy, the boys will only be meaner if–” 

“If they hurt you any more, then you’re moving schools.” 

“But–” 

“No buts. I love you boys, I don’t want you to be hurt.” He’s about to continue when Roman clears his throat behind them. 

“Ah, as much as I don’t want to interrupt, Virgil, I believe you said you had to leave at four and it’s almost that time.” He says, blushing a little bit as the twins finally notice him, rushing up to his side and looking at him curiously. 

“Who are you?” 

“Are you daddy’s friend?” 

“No, daddy doesn’t have friends, Pat. He doesn’t have time.” 

“Then you’re the person that’s staying in daddy’s room, right?” 

Roman looks down at the little kids, eyes wide, bewildered by the two six-year-olds flitting around him like little nymphs, looking at him curiously. 

“I– Uh–” 

“Boys!” Virgil says sternly, and the twins freeze in place, turning to their father. 

“Yes, dad?” They say in unison. 

“This is Roman. He’s the person staying in the spare roomdown the hall, and the person that’s going to be babysitting you guys.” 

“Is he nice?” Logan asks warily. 

“Yes, he’s very nice.” 

“Will he play with us?” 

Virgil smiles at Patton, ruffling his hair. “You’ll have to ask him, bud. Now, give daddy hugs, he has to go.” 

“Do you have to?” Patton wails, clinging to Virgil’s leg, and Virgil feels the usual guilt he feels leaving them. “Please stay, just tonight!” 

“I can’t, buddy, I have to work,” Virgil explains weakly, prying Patton off of his leg so he can kneel down and hug him. Logan immediately joins in on the hug, squeezing as tight as his little arms will let him (which is, surprisingly, a lot). “But I promise I’ll come check on you tonight when I get home, alright?” 

“But– but what if I can’t sleep? Or have a night– ni– nightmare? An– and you’re not  _here_?” 

“I know it’s scary, but I promise you can tell me about it when I get home and I’ll make you hot chocolate.” 

“P- Promise?” Patton sniffles, and wipes his nose on Virgil’s sleeve. Virgil smiles, and nods. 

“Promise. Now you go play with Roman, daddy’ll be home before you know it.” 

“Kay…” Patton mumbles. Virgil taps his cheek and Patton kisses it with a grin. Logan follows, kissing Virgil on the cheek, and then both boys find their way to the couch next to Roman, still eyeing him curiously. 

“You boys be good, be nice to Roman, and I’ll be home soon. Okay, loves?” 

“Okay,” The boys chime, and Virgil smiles. 

“Roman, there’s dinner in the fridge, I try to keep meals stocked up for them. Try to feed them by six thirty, and get them to bed by eight. Are– Are you sure you’ll be okay with them?” 

“Yes, I’m sure. Don’t you worry.” Roman smiles at Virgil, and Virgil nods, smiling. 

“Then I’ll see you when I get back. See you.” 

* * *

…Roman should not have said he’d be fine. He is not fine. He’s completely useless here! The twins were able to make their own dinner and change into their pajamas by themselves, they watched tv until it was time to go to bed– and then they went to bed on their own! Roman tried to engage them, but they didn’t seem interested. They were hesitant and shy, as if he’d brush them off at any second. They were perfectly content to just play with each other. 

So here he is, sitting on the couch at one thirty in the morning, eating cold-in-the-middle lasagna, watching Sesame Street because he can’t figure out how to work the dvd player. 

Virgil returns to the house around four a.m., looking exhausted. He smiles at Roman, sneaking into the kitchen quietly to get some food before returning to the living you. 

“How were they?” He asks, voice low. “You didn’t have to stay up and wait, by the way. I work late, and have classes in between shifts, so I get home late.” 

Roman shrugs. “They were…independent. Didn’t need my help at all. Didn’t even ask for help when they wanted dinner early.” 

“They’re like that,” Virgil chuckles, shaking his head. “I wish it wasn’t like that, but I…I’m gone a lot, trying to keep up with bills and stuff. The babysitters they’ve all had have been lazy teenagers, so they had to learn to take care of themselves.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Roman says, frowning. He wonders how much hell this man must’ve gone through with his kids. Virgil shakes his head, shrugging. 

“It’s life, don’t worry about it.” 

“It shouldn’t be.” 

Roman doesn’t know if he’s overstepping boundaries, but Virgil is beginning to look uncomfortable, so he decides that he is. 

“Sorry.” 

Virgil shakes his head. “It’s fine. Hey, I’m gonna go to bed, you should probably do that too.” 

“A– Ah, you didn’t finish your–” 

“I’m not too hungry.” 

Virgil is quick to drop his leftover lasagna into the trash and put his plate in the dishwasher, before he disappears down to the basement. Roman simply just watches him, feeling guilty. He doesn’t know why– even though he just met this small family, he doesn’t know why he wants the best for them. He doesn’t know why he wants to help these kids and their dad. 

He doesn’t understand. But he’s going to do it.

He sighs, standing up, and goes to his bedroom. Later, as he’s laying in bed, listening to Virgil comforting a crying Patton after a nightmare, he mumbles to himself, “I hope life gets better for you…You deserve it.” 


	3. Chapter 3

In the weeks that he’s lived with the Sanders family, Roman’s identified just what it sounds like when each of the members of the family come home. 

When the twins come home from the bus stop, it’s Patton who opens the door so fast that it hits the wall, bounding in with either the happy news of the day or more upsetting news that he’ll have to pass on to Virgil when he gets home. Logan follows close behind, closing the door gently, and follows his brother inside. They’re both very polar opposites, but they compliment each other nicely. 

When Virgil comes home from work, or from class, it’s quiet. He can barely hear the click of the door latching. He’s silent, caught in the habit of not wanting to wake the twins, even if it’s four in the afternoon instead of in the morning. He always looks tired, and usually goes straight to bed unless the twins commandeer his time. 

Which is why he’s so alarmed when, as he’s job searching on his laptop in the living room, the door flies open unlike any other time it has. He jumps, cursing, and stands, using one of Patton’s many stuffed animals as a weapon. However, he’s surprised to see Virgil storming inside, looking livid. Patton and Logan follow behind quietly, looking upset as well. 

“Virgil? Hey, you guys are all home early…” He sighs, setting down the stuffed animal and falling back down to the couch as Virgil stomps into the kitchen. “Is it a half day or something for the kids? I could’ve picked them up if the buses wouldn’t run them.” 

“No, it wasn’t a half day,” Virgil growls, and Roman can see through the window on the counter that he’s leaning his head in his hands against the counter. Logan and Patton make their way quietly into the living room, plopping down in the corner with some toys. “Not a half day.” 

“Is– Is something wrong?..” 

“Nope, nothing. Nothing’s wrong, everything is just fine!” Virgil replies, and he sounds near tears. “Look, I– Boys, daddy’s sorry for being upset. He just– didn’t expect this. I need to get back to work, loves, I’ll be home later tonight, okay? Be good for Roman.” 

“Bye, dad…” The twins chorus as Virgil stands straight again, grabbing his keys from where he’d thrown them on the kitchen table. He leaves as soon as he came, the door slamming. Immediately, Roman is met by sniffles from the corner of the room where the twins are. 

“Guys?..” Roman asks, alarmed to see Logan crying. Usually it’s Patton, the ever-emotional half, that’s crying over one thing or another. Logan never cries. “Logan, you okay, bud?” He gets up again, walking across the room and crouching down next to them. Logan shakes his head, sniffling. 

“’S all m- all my- my fault,” Logan sobs, and Roman coos, opening his arms up for the little boy. They’d created a bit of a bond in the last few weeks, and now’s one of the times he’s glad about that, because Logan launches himself into Roman’s arms, still crying, hands flapping rapidly. Roman coos, hushing Logan’s tears. 

“Shh, bud, it’s okay. It’s okay. What’s all your fault? I’m sure there’s an explanation.” 

“I m- made– made da- ddy ma- mad,” Logan says, sniffling, still flapping. His cries have settled a bit, but not enough that he isn’t still stuttering. “Th- Th’ teacher– s- said I’m– b- bad!” 

“Bad? I don’t think you’re bad.” 

“B- But th- th’ school think- thinks I’m b- bad,” Logan says, insistent. “Th- They called d- daddy into school toda- ay, an- an’ said that daddy had to find m- me a new school.” 

Logan sounds so broken and sad, and Roman just breaks. 

“Do you know why the school thinks you’re bad?” He asks, rocking Logan gently when the little boy’s head starts to twitch rather violently, his flapping getting rougher. He coos and hushes him, petting his hair. “Shh, calm down, Logan, shh…” 

“Th- Th school sa– says that I’m n- not smart en- enough, and tha- at I should be in special classrooms,” Logan says, sobbing. He sniffles, and Roman is amazed. What? They think Logan isn’t  _smart_  enough? Logan is one of the smartest kids he’s ever met! 

“That’s– That’s not right,” Roman says, frowning, and tightening his hold on the little boy. “That is not right at all.” 

“Th- They’re so mean,” Patton says, finally speaking up, and Roman can see he’s crying as well. “Why are people so mean? L- Logan jus– just–” He sniffles. “Logan just g- gets upset sometimes, he doesn’t m- mean to be– to– to be disr- disr– ruputivie…” 

“I’m sorry.” Roman runs his hands through Logan’s hair, sighing. 

“An- An’ now daddy’s m- mad at me…” The six year old mumbles, looking absolutely distraught. 

“No, no buddy, daddy isn’t mad at you, I’m sure of that.” Virgil could never be upset at either of the twins, especially not so  _visibly livid_  as he was. “Daddy’s probably just frustrated and mad at the school.” 

“Fr- Fru– Fustrated? Why?” 

“Well, he wants the best for you, buddy,” Roman says, smiling. He pulls Patton into his arms and lifts them both (with a bit of a strain) and carries them to the couch. “And the school isn’t giving you the best. It’s not your fault you’re too good for them.” 

“T- Too– good?..” Logan sniffles. 

“Yeah.” Roman smiles. “You’re obviously too good for them, if they think you aren’t fit for their program. You’re too good. And know, none of this is your fault, Logan. Daddy isn’t mad at you, he’s mad at the school. But he’s going to find a new school for you two. A better one.” 

“Really?” 

“Really.” Roman sets the boys on the couch and stands, smiling. “Alright, boys. What do you say we make cookies? Huh?” He asks, raising an eyebrow. The boys instantly perk up. 

“Cookies?” 

Roman chuckles. “Yeah, Pat, cookies. We can make some to make daddy happy when he comes home!” 

“Yeah!” The boys jump up, clapping and grinning. There aren’t any more tears, only leftover sniffles. Roman smiles, leading the boys to the kitchen. 

Virgil comes home at eleven later that night, and when he does, it’s a lot less… violent than when he did earlier. Roman is on his laptop, Daniel Tiger playing on the television (he still can’t figure out the DVD player), and he smiles, setting it on the coffee table when his roommate enters. 

“Hey, how was work?” He asks, nervous that he may be still upset. 

“It was…stressful.” He sighs, sitting down at the couch. “I’m sorry, about– earlier…” 

“No, no, it’s fine.” 

“No, it wasn’t– I was– I was stressed, and I shouldn’t have snapped. God, Logan must be so upset right now…” Virgil buries his head in his hands. “I was– it’s just– They told me that they can’t meet Logan’s needs there, and it’s the best school in the area that doesn’t have some sort of admittance fee, and I can’t afford that right now… I can’t separate the boys, either, but if I put Logan in a school for special needs I can’t put Patton in it, and they– they love each other so much and–” 

“I’m sure everything will work out,” He says, reassuring. 

“But– But, he– I– I love him so much, I just want the best for him…” Virgil says, voice breaking, and Roman panics. Oh god, oh god he’s crying. He can’t cry, shit, how do you stop an adult from crying? “They’ve been through so much already, I just want them to have the best possible…” 

“You’re doing the best you can…” Roman says weakly, shaking is head. He doesn’t know how to help. “You’ll find a good school for them. One that accommodates both of their needs.” 

“Ugh, I–” Virgil sighs. “I don’t know. How was Logan, when I left? Was he upset?” 

Roman nods. “He was upset, but I got the boys to help make cookies, so he cheered up a little.” 

Virgil perks up a little. “Cookies?” 

“Yes,” Roman chuckles, shaking his head. “We made chocolate chip and peanut butter cup cookies, because Patton said that Recces Peanut Butter Cups were your favorite.” 

…And that makes Virgil start crying again. He smiles tearily at his roommate. “You guys did that? for me?” He asks, sniffling. 

“Yeah,” Roman smiles. “I knew you needed cheering up, and Logan did too, so they were both easy to convince.” 

“So are there any left? Or did the boys eat them all?” Roman can hear a bit of hope in his voice, making him chuckle. 

“Yes, I hid a few from them so they couldn’t eat them all.” 

“So you’ve figured out my secret.” Virgil says, chuckling, and Roman’s heart flutters at the sound, his cheeks heating up. “I always have to make sure I get some. They never really know how many sweets we make when we do, so it’s easy to sneak some.” 

“That’s a genius move,” Roman says, grinning. “Do all parents do this?” 

“I don’t know about all parents, but I certainly do.” 

Virgil stands, grabbing a few cookies from the counter, and smiles at Roman. 

“I’m going to go to bed, but thank you very much for these.” Virgil says, waving a little. 

Roman smiles shyly, waving back. 

“G’night, get some sleep Virgil.” 

“You too.” 

Roman watches Virgil go, still smiling softly. Once he’s sure Virgil is asleep and not coming back upstairs to try and get his school work done (like he does often), Roman turns off the TV, making his way to bed. 

For some reason, even in his sleep, he can still hear Virgil’s laugh. 


	4. Chapter 4

Quiet days are hard to come by for Virgil. He’s so often busy working, or at school, or taking care of the twins, that he rarely gets time to himself. However, after being put on bed rest after a sever case of bronchitis, that seems to be all he’s having. Quiet days. 

“Daddy?” 

Virgil jumps, a small gasp flying out of his mouth making him break into a coughing fit. “Pa– ugh– Pa– Patt– on, hey–” He stutters out, his lungs heaving. “Hey, bud. What’s up?” 

“You’re not s’posed to be up, the doctor said so.” 

Virgil smiles guiltily, tugging at his polo collar. “N- No, the doctor said I’m all fixed! I can go back to work now! You should go back to bed.” 

Patton shakes his head, frowning. He has his arms crossed, and he’s glaring sleepily at his father. “Lying is bad, daddy…” 

This immediately makes Virgil deflate, and he kneels down in front of Patton, covering a cough. He hugs Patton, fighting back tears. He doesn’t want to burden his son by telling him that he needs to get back to work, that he’s out of paid sick days and if he doesn’t get back tonight he’ll be fired. He can’t. But what else can he say? 

“Pat, buddy, I..” 

“Virgil? Patton? Is that you two?” Roman’s voice startles them both, and their heads whirl to the kitchen doorway. “What are the both of you doing up? It’s three thirty in the morning…” 

“Sorry if we woke you,” Virgil says, smiling in apology between coughs. “I’m just ge– getting ready to go to work, Pat’s being a bit fussy.” 

Patton stomps his foot, growling. “The doctor said  _no_ , daddy.” 

“And I said I’m  _fine_ , Patton. Please, now, daddy’s going to be late for work if you don’t let me go bud.” 

“But–” 

“Patton Joan sanders, _I love you_. But go back to bed. Now.” Virgil kisses Patton’s forehead, and quickly stands, turning to his roommate. “Roman, I was gonna leave a note but since you’re here… I’ll be home by noon and then I have another shift at four, all three meals for you and the boys are in the freezer, just pull them out. The boys both need baths tonight, and they’re allowed to stay up until nine since it’s a weekend. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? See ya.” 

Virgil is gone before Roman can protest, and before Patton can realize. But boy when he  _does_ …

Patton lets out the loudest wail Roman’s ever heard, immediately rushing to the door and leaving Roman to curse and chase after him. By time he gets to the door, Virgil is gone and Patton is nowhere to be seen. He curses louder, stepping outside– barefoot. The concrete freezes his feet, every hoot of an owl or croak of a frog scaring him as he peeks into the dark, looking for the kindergartener. No sign of Patton. 

“Fuck. How fast can a six year old  _run_?” He groans and rubs his hands over his face, walking outside farther. “Patton? Pat.” 

His only response is a raccoon knocking over a trash can across the street. 

“Patton, come on in buddy, this isn’t funny. Come on.” He walks to the end of the driveway to look down the street both ways, and Patton isn’t  _there_  either. Walks around the house –  _twice_  – nowhere. He’s  _gone_. Now Roman is really panicking, and he runs back into the house, searching every room, calling Patton’s name. But he’s nowhere to be found.  _Fuck_. 

“Patton? Patton, come on, you’re scaring me. Come out!” 

“Roman?..” Logan comes out of his and Patton’s shared room, rubbing at his eyes under his glasses. They look so much alike Roman almost cries in joy, and he has to fight back a disappointed groan when he figures out it’s just Logan. “Roman, what’s wrong? You look scared, like when daddy gets those red letters in the mail from the courthouse. Where’s– Where’s Pat?” 

“I– Nothing. It’s nothing.” Roman says, wondering how in the world he’ll break it to Logan that he’s  _lost his brother_. “Go– Go back to bed.” 

“Where’s Pat?” Logan asks again, and Roman groans.  

 _Shit_. 

“A- Alright, uh… Well, daddy went back to work and Pat got upset…and…he kinda ran off and I can’t find him..?” 

“You can’t find him? Where is he?” Logan asks, eyes widening, and Roman can see him begin to panic. “You– You need to c- c- ca- all dad– daddy!” 

That’s absolutely  _not_  happening. “No! I  _can’t_ – Your daddy has enough to worry about right now, we can’t worry him with this. We’ll get Pat back, you and me, Lo.” 

“Get him back?.. But– He– He’s a real– really good hi- hider…” 

“Well, we’ll have to be better than him and find him.” He says, not entirely sure of himself. “We have to.” 

Virgil is going to kill him… 

* * *

Meanwhile, Patton is wandering the city. He knows where daddy works, he  _swears_ … A car honks in the distance and he flinches, sniffling. Daddy shouldn’t have left. He’s scared, and it’s  _all daddy’s fault_! If he hadn’t left while he was still sick, he wouldn’t have left to go find him and he wouldn’t be lost! It’s all his fault!  

It’s dark and it’s cold– he hadn’t even put on his shoes, he’d just run out in his pajama top and undies! He’s sure to get scolded when daddy sees him. Stray cats and feral dogs wander around, occasionally sniffing at him, but he stays on task instead of petting them like he wants to. The streets don’t seem to get any lighter the farther he walks. Streetlights are far and few between, and seem to keep getting farther and farther apart. In fact, he thinks he’s moving farther away from the light of downtown, where daddy works, and he’s scared of the dark. 

After a while longer walking, Patton finally can’t keep walking, too cold to go on. He collapses onto the sidewalk– sobbing,  _scared_. He can’t turn around now– he  _needs_  to find daddy, he needs to get him  _home_! He can’t work, he’s sick, he’ll get hurt! 

“Daddy…” 

“Hey there, buddy. Are you lost?” Patton jumps, startled, head flying up to see an older looking woman kneeling in front of him. 

“I– I need to find my daddy’s work, b– but I can– can’t fi– fin– find– i- it!” 

“Oh, I’m so sorry sweetie,” The woman ruffles Patton’s hair and for some reason her touch makes him feel icky. Now that she’s closer, he smells quite a bit like alcohol. Kinda like mom, before she… “How about you tell me where you’re trying to go, and I can take you in my car.” 

Patton stands, frowning, brows furrowing. Daddy always tells him he was never supposed to get in strangers cars…

“I don’t think I should…” 

“It’s okay, but, I’ll help you find your daddy, I promise.” 

He shakes his head. “No, daddy says not to get in people’s cars…It’s not safe…” 

“It’s not safe to be out here by yourself, either. Especially when you aren’t dressed.” The woman points out, and Patton hums. Well, she is right…And he is cold…

“You promise you’ll help me find daddy’s work? He’s really sick, he shouldn’t be working now…” 

“I promise, sweetie.” The woman pats his head, smiling weirdly, and Patton smiles back weakly. She points to a car a little ways down the road. “Let’s go get in, and we’ll go find your daddy.” 

Patton nods, smiling a little bit. He follows her, and climbs into her back seat as she climbs into the the drivers seat. 

He hopes daddy won’t be too mad when he finds him. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Kidnapping, mentions of alcohol and murder, self hate, self doubt, car crash
> 
> Please don’t hate me

****Patton doesn’t know when he realized that this woman wasn’t taking him where he wanted to go, but he does know he’s been in her car for hours and he’s scared. Whenever he talks to her, her answers become more and more volatile, and she keeps taking swigs out of a big glass bottle. He’s somewhere on the freeway, now, he thinks. They’re going really fast.

“M- Miss, where are– where are you ta– taki– ki– takin– g me?” He asks, sniffling. He also doesn’t know when he started to cry. 

“I’m taking you somewhere where your daddy can’t hurt you, buddy, I’ve told you,” She snaps, and Patton flinches. “I’m a social worker, and I’m protecting you.” 

“B- But daddy doesn’t hurt me, h- he– he– he’s nice t- to m- e,” He says. “I to- told you, I was l- looki– ng for hi-  m because h- he- he’s sick an- nd needs a doctor!” 

“He let you wander the streets, dr–” She burps, her car swerving a bit, before she takes another swig from the bottle. “He let you wander the streets dressed like that, he’s obviously abusive. I’m  _helping_  you.” 

“N- No he– he would be u- upset if he saw me not dressed, I l- left without him kno-wing.” Patton insists. “Please, take me back! I want my daddy!” 

“Shut up, kid, this is for your own good.” The car swerves again, and Patton clutches the door with all his might. Red and blue lights flash behind them and he sighs in relief as the woman curses. “Fuck– buckle up, kid.” 

Patton sobs. 

* * *

Roman’s taken to carrying Logan on his back. 

It’s almost eight a.m. now, and they’ve been searching for four hours. Roman’s tried on multiple occasions to get Logan to just rest a moment, close his eyes while he carries him, but he’s never seen the six year old so determined. He’s glaring ahead, calling out in a coarse voice for Patton. Roman can clearly see the held back tears in his eyes. 

“Patton! Buddy, c’mon!” 

Joggers and morning commuters have taken to the streets, by now, and whenever they pass one Roman stops them. He probably looks crazy– his hair a mess, he’s in pajama pants but no top, carrying a child on his back, and barefoot. A businessman walks past, and he grabs him by the arm; he can obviously see the way he recoils, but he doesn’t care. “H- Hey, sorry, but have you seen a kid walking around?

“Looks just like this one, but he’s just in a shirt I think, no shoes. I’m their older brother, and I’m supposed to be watching them, but he slipped off of me– my dad is going to  _kill_  me.” 

The business man looks at him with a sympathetically smile, shaking his head. “Sorry, kid, you’re the only person I’ve talked to all morning. Maybe try getting out of downtown, or the police station. They wouldn’t let kids run around here unsupervised.” 

Roman nods, miserable, but he doesn’t curse out loud with Logan so close. He’s still in his repetition phase, and he’s already learned a few colorful words from him. “Thanks, sorry for bothering you.” 

“No problem. I hope you find your brother.” 

The business man walks away, and Roman sighs, scrubbing at his face with his hands. “Roman, why d’you always lie when you ask people if they’ve seen Pat?” 

Roman jumps at Logan’s inquiry. He hadn’t heard him speak anything but Patton’s name in over an hour. 

“Because nobody would take me seriously if I said I was your babysitter and he ran off looking for his dad. They’d think I kidnapped you or something.” 

“Kidnapped? But you aren’t napping.” 

“Took you away,” Roman corrects, sighing. “They’d think I was a bad man. So I tell them I’m your brother, so that they feel sorry for me.” 

“Oh.” Logan hums. “…No one kid– n- kidnapped Patton, did th- they?” He asks, and Roman immediately shakes his head.

“No. No, Pat’s– He’s– He’s okay.” Roman says, voice cracking. “We’ll find him.” 

“I think we need to call dad.” 

“I know.” Roman sighs. “I know, but– I– I left my phone at home.” 

“Oh.” Logan says. 

“We’ll go home now– now, and we’ll call dad and we’ll find Pat. Maybe– Maybe he went home, and he’s waiting for us.” 

“Maybe.” 

Patton isn’t home, though, and Roman is slowly losing hope. He holds the phone to his ear, bouncing his leg nervously. He has to call Virgil. God, he doesn’t want to though. He’s scared that Virgil will hate him, and he’ll be out of a place to stay. But most of all he’s worried about breaking him. He doesn’t want Virgil to think this is his fault, because it isn’t– It’s Roman’s, for not being so fast catching him. 

“Hello? Roman? Is everything alright?” Virgil’s voice, which Roman usually likes to hear, startles him. His mind had been wondering to all of the possible outcomes of this. Like Patton being kidnapped. Patton freezing to death. Patton being kidnapped and murdered. Other– Other things, all equally undesirable. What if– “Roman?” 

“O- Oh, sorry. Sorry.” Roman notices his breathing is elevated. “Sorry, to– to bother you Virgil, but there’s…something bad going on.” 

He can head Virgil’s breath hitch. “How bad?” 

“…Patton, when you left this morning, he– he ran off, outside…I’ve been looking for him since then, but– but I still can’t find him, and I think I need your help. I’m so sorry, I know I was probably irresponsible, I– I’ll do anything to make it up, but first we need to find Patton.” 

There’s silence on the other line, and he has to actually look to make sure that he hasn’t been hung up on. 

“…Virgil?” 

“I– I’ll be over as soon as I can. I– I’m sorry, I’ll be– Soon. Call, the, uh– call the police. It’s been a while, I think we’ll need to.” 

“Right.” Roman says. He gasps for breath. “I’m sorry, Virgil–” 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault.” Virgil interrupts. “I’ll be there soon, call the cops.” 

Virgil hangs up before Roman can say anything else, and he sets down his phone, resting his head in his hands. He’s drained– emotionally and physically and mentally and– and everythingally He’s tired, so so tired. 

“Ro?” 

“Yeah, Logan?” 

“We’re…going to find my brother, right?” Logan asks. He looks as scared as Roman is. “We’re going to find him?” 

Roman nods. “Of course we will.” 

“Will– Will he be alive?” 

Roman startles. “Of course, Logan.” 

“You aren’t lying?” 

He frowns. “O- Of course not.” 

“Good.” Logan nods. He picks up Roman’s phone and gives it to him. “Daddy said to call the police, right?” 

Roman smiles. “Yeah. I’d better do that.” 

He dials the police and describes the problem, and gives the address. 

They promise to be there in half an hour. 

Roman isn’t sure they have that much time. 

* * *

The car is going well over one hundred now. Scenery flies past Patton’s eyes, and he sobs, waving at the police car far behind them, trying to get their attention. 

“Please– Please slow down, m- miss–” 

“No! I’m not going to jail, kid–” 

“Please–” 

“This is for your own good!” 

Patton can’t breathe. He thinks he sees the police officer notice him before the car swerves off the road. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Graphic descriptions of a car accident, trauma, major injury, hospitals

 

“So, the last time you saw the child was around three forty-five in the morning?” They’ve been talking to the police for hours. All the while, the officers have been getting calls in from their radio. However, the recent ones have been about a car chase off the freeway, heading upstate. It doesn’t do much to aid Virgil or Roman’s anxieties. 

“Yes, as I was leaving to work. I– I didn’t expect him to run off, and I went to work…” 

“And you didn’t call the child’s father until four hours after the child went missing?” 

“Yes,” Roman admits, feeling like a child scolded. “I thought I would find him right– right away, I didn’t want to worry him if there was nothing to worry about.” 

“Right.” This one officer seems to have something against him. He’s been questioning him the most about Patton’s disappearance, even though they told them exactly what happened. “So, you’re just living here without paying rent?” 

“I’m providing childcare until I can afford it,” Roman mumbles, blushing. The police officer rolls his eyes and looks like he’s about to speak again when there’s shouting now from the walkie talkie. 

_“There’s a kid in the car! There’s a kid in the car, we need backup, there’s a kid in the car– fuck, it just flipped– We need more backup, more–”_

Roman and Virgil both pale, not even listening as they call for medical. 

The officer moves to turn off his radio, giving Virgil a sympathetic frown, but Virgil shakes his head. 

“Once everything’s calmed down, ask for a description of the child. Please.” 

He nods. “Alright.” 

Roman’s ears ring, and he can hear Virgil whispering “please don’t be him, please don’t be him, please don’t be him,” over and over in a mantra that Roman’s also repeating in his head. He can’t breathe. 

“Are you at the crash scene yet, BH0919? We need you to get a physical description of the child in the vehicle.” By now, Logan’s set aside the toys he’s been playing with, listening to the officer. He looks up at the adults, sad that they’re so upset. If Patton were here, he would help him to make them all happy. 

“Daddy..?” 

Virgil opens his arms for Logan, holding him tightly to his chest. He struggles to breathe, but he doesn’t care, he wants his dad to feel happy. He has a feeling that, if Patton really is the one in that car, he’ll have to take over that job. 

No matter how much he doesn’t want that. 

* * *

Patton tries to hold onto the back headrest of the car as it flips, but his little body is easily jostled and he cries out as he flies into the car door. Pain shoots up his arm and he gasps, but that air is cut off as his head hits the roof of the vehicle. 

His vision swarms. He doesn’t know how many more times the car rolls before everything is still. He can’t hear anything now but the ringing of his own ears and a police siren a few yards away. He can’t move– something’s holding him down (he’ll find out later that it’s the car door; it caved in on top of him, and he’s pinned upside down with it over him). He can’t breathe. His vision is going dark. 

“Daddy…” 

He thinks he can hear yelling from outside the car just as he’s slipping out of consciousness. 

* * *

It was him. Virgil and Roman are both so overwhelmed with emotion that they need the police officer that was reviewing their case with them to the children’s hospital where Patton’s been airlifted. 

The entire time, Logan is in his car seat n the back of the car, trying not to break down. If he loses his brother, he– he doesn’t know what he’d do. 

Upon their arrival, Virgil and Roman don’t even wait to thank the police officer, or wait for him to give them the car keys– they just scoop Logan up from the back of the car and carry him inside, immediately rushing inside. 

They wait for hours. They’re informed that Patton has broken ribs, and a broken arm as well as a cracked skull, and multiple fractures in his left leg. He’s currently in surgery to repair the fractures on his skull, and has been for…going on three hours. The entire time, the adults have been talking to doctors, and Logan’s been left to play with toys on the child trauma floor toy room. 

He doesn’t like the toys in the toy room– they’re all boring, and without Patton to help him with the imagination aspect, he can’t really figure out how to play with the other kids in the room. The blocks are too juvenile. The books are boring, he’s read them all. 

So he’s alone, in the playroom, just trying not to panic at the thought of his brother, in surgery, all alone. The twins did everything together– there’s nothing, ever, they’ve really done apart. They went to the same doctor’s appointments, they were in the same class, they slept in the same room. It Patton…If he…

“Hi!” Logan jumps, flinching, and looks up at a boy of around eight. He doesn’t speak, not sure how to respond just yet. “I’m Thomas.” 

“…Logan.” 

“I noticed you’re kinda just staring, so I thought I’d come talk to you.” Thomas says, smiling lightly. Logan notes that he’s rather pale, and when he looks down he notices he’s in a wheelchair. “Why are you here? I was in an accident a couple weeks ago on my way to get chemo, so I’ve been up here instead of the cancer ward.” 

“I– My brother…he ran off this morning, and there was an accident…” He says shyly, fiddling with his fingers. He wishes he’d had time to grab one of his fidget toys before they left. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands. 

Thomas seems to notice, because he smiles, and pulls a tangle from his pocket. “Here, do you wanna play with this? I keep some on me, because my friend Joan likes them.” 

Logan takes it gratefully, thanking Thomas quietly. 

“How old’s your brother?” 

“W- We’re si– six,” He replies, shy. “But Patton is almost two hours older…” 

“You’re twins?” Thomas’ eyes brighten. “That’s so cool!” 

Logan blushes. 

“Y- Yeah, I guess so…” He mumbles. “I never really think about it, but everyone says so…” 

“I think twins are so interesting! I did a school project on them, before I started homeschooling.” Thomas says, sounding so fascinated. “Are you two identical? or fraternal?” 

“Identical.” 

“That’s awesome!” 

“I- I guess…” 

“You two must get along, huh?” 

“Y- Yeah…” Logan slowly begins to relax as he chats with the other boy. They talk for a long time, until Thomas has to go back to his room for bed. Logan tries to give him back the tangle, but he simply shakes his head and tells him to keep it. Logan thanks him, and plays with it until Virgil and Roman come to get him. 

* * *

“I’m so sorry Virgil…” Roman says. Virgil is in a waiting room chair, head in hands, trying to catch his breath after a bad coughing fit. He was still sick, and the stress wasn’t helping any. “If I’d been watching him better…” 

Virgil shakes his head. “No, it– It’s okay. It’s my fault…” 

“It isn’t.” Roman says sternly. Virgil keeps doing that– Blaming himself. It should be Roman doing that. “Now stop that. If you stress yourself out more, you’ll probably end up passing out, and I don’t think you’ll fit in one of those child beds. “ 

Vigil snorts. “Fuck you.” 

“No, I’m serious, though,” Roman says, smiling. “You shouldn’t stress yourself out. You’re sick, and you haven’t gotten much sleep. The stress will only hurt your body more.” 

Virgil nods, sighing. “Right. I know, I– I’m just…He’s going to be okay, right?” 

“Of course he will be.” Roman says. “He’s a strong boy, and I know he won’t leave Logan alone.” 

This makes Virgil skeptic. “…I–” 

“Mr. Sanders?” 

Virgil flinches, his head jolting in the direction of the interrupting voice. Patton’s doctor. 

“Is– Is there any news on Pat?” He asks, and the doctor, Anne, nods with a gentle smile. 

“Patton is out of surgery. As you know, our surgeons had to shave his head to get to the damaged area of the skull. There were a few complications during surgery…his brain began to swell, and that complicated the patching up of his skull. We were able to stunt the swelling, and patched everything up. He had a bit of internal bleeding where one of his broken ribs punctured his left lung, as well as some hemorrhaging in his brain after everything was patched back up, so we had to go back in…

“We made sure to fix everything we could, though, and Patton’s expected to make a full recovery in a few months time. He’s in the ICU right now, two floors up. He’s unconscious, but family is allowed in now. Your friend will have to stay behind.” 

Virgil, despite growing relieved at the news that Patton was okay, he’s devastated to hear how bad his state was. He doesn’t think he can go in alone, and especially not with just Logan by his side. He pales at the idea. 

“I– He’s my– my roommate, Patton’s caretaker…He– He’s helped me out so much, lately, can’t he please..?” 

Anne sighs, pushing up her glasses. “I normally wouldn’t allow, but I can tell you won’t relent if I say no, so…if anyone asks, he’s your partner. I don’t want get in trouble because of this, and I can tell that your friend here really needs to see him.” 

“I really do,” Roman says softly, looking down. “Thank you, doctor.” 

“No problem,” Anne says, smiling. She pats both of them on the shoulder. “Just ask the nurses up in the ICU what bed number he is. I’ll be up to check on him in an hour, if you’re still there.” 

“Thank you again, Anne,” Virgil says, grabbing the doctor’s hand, tears in his eyes. “Thank you for saving my boy.” 

Anne smiles. “Go see him, love.” 

“Right.” 

Virgil takes Roman warily by the hand, and pulls him along.

Patton is okay. He’s okay. 

Roman can stop blaming himself enough to go see him. 

* * *

Logan isn’t ready, Roman can see that much. 

They’d informed Logan that they can see Patton, but Virgil had told him softly that he was very sick, and that he couldn’t give him a hug; which is all any of them really wants to do. 

None of them are ready, but they need to see him themselves. 

Roman pushes the ICU door in, and Virgil talks to a nurse who points them to a curtained section at the end of the hall. They rush to the bed, making sure to go into the curtained off “room” that’s labeled Patton Joan Sanders. 

Patton’s head is shaved completely, gauze wrapped around it to cover his stitches. He has oxygen running through tubes that go into his nose, and another tube – an IV – in his left pointer finger. His right arm is in a cast, and his left leg in one as well, and elevated by a couple of pillows under the thin hospital blanket. He won’t be able to walk, and with his broken ribs and arm he won’t be able to use crutches. So they’ll need to get a wheelchair. 

Logan wails at the sight, burying his head in Virgil’s chest, and Roman suddenly can’t breathe. 

This is his fault. 

This is  _all his fault_. 

_You hurt him. You put him in danger, you should have been watching him better. He ran off because you aren’t fast enough. Not good enough. He could have died and it’s all your fault–_

“Roman?” 

His head snaps up, and he looks at a worried looking Virgil. (Logan is still crying, but Virgil had set him in Patton’s bed on the promise he wouldn’t move around too much or do anything to the equipment keeping Patton alive) He hadn’t noticed the sharp intakes of breath, the loud whimper that left his throat.  _All your fault all your fault all your fault–_

“Sorry. Sorry, I– I need to…go…” He starts to stumble off, his footwork sloppy, but Virgil catches him by the arm. 

“It isn’t your fault.” 

Roman shakes his head. “Yes, yes it–” 

“If anything, it’s mine, and I  _won’t_  let you argue on that. Please don’t blame yourself. I– I left, when he was worried about me. He ran out.  _It isn’t your fault_.” 

Roman blinks back tears, and he sees through his blurry vision Virgil is crying too. “I…I just–” He sucks in a breath. “Over the last few weeks, I’ve grown to know them, and  _care_  about them, and– I  _love_  these kids. It  _hurts_ , seeing them in pain. Especially when it was  _my_  responsibility to watch him. 

“It hurts. I don’t care if you tell me not to, I blame myself completely.” 

“Roman…” Roman shakes his head, scared he’s maybe insulted the other somehow, but Virgil just hugs him tight. “I– I can’t– Thank you, so much. I don’t think anyone I’ve ever known has loved these boys as much as I do, but it’s very clear you do.”

“I do.” He whispers. “They’re so sweet, and just like you. So strong and determined. I have no doubt in my mind that Patton will recover from this.” 

“Yeah. He will.” Virgil nods, hugging Roman tighter, and Roman is glad Virgil’s face is in his chest, for his cheeks are bright red. 

“Daddy?..” 

They all gasp. Virgil pulls away from Roman, immediately going to his son’s bedside. “Pat? Buddy?” 

Patton hums, blinking his eyes open slightly. Logan grabs his hand gently, careful not to hurt him. 

“Pat!” 

“Daddy…I’m sorry…” 

“No, you shouldn’t be sorry, buddy, it’s okay.” Virgil whispers, choking up. Roman presses a soothing hand on Virgil’s back, just wanting to be there for him. “You’re not in trouble.” 

“But I– I got in the…car…the lady…” 

“Honey, you’re still weak. Don’t talk.” Virgil hushes, covering a cough. “I’m just glad you’re okay, Patton.” 

“I am?” 

Virgil chuckles. “You are, baby. You’re safe, and I’m never going to let anyone ever hurt you ever again. I mean it this time. Nobody’s going to hurt you.” 

Patton smiles weakly, his eyes fluttering closed. “I love you daddy…” 

“I love you too, baby. Now rest a little more, okay?” 

“Mmm’kay…” 

“I love you.” Virgil kisses Patton’s forehead. “Sleep tight, Pat.” 


	7. Chapter 7

Patton gets out of the hospital three weeks after he was admitted. He’s in a lot of pain and hates his wheelchair. 

Roman is working overtime; between helping Patton, who is always behind on his schoolwork after the accident, with his school work, and also living. He can hardly move around the house on his own, and needs help to use the restroom and bathe. He hates being codependent, and Roman can see. After being so independent for so long, he can understand why. 

Virgil has been working even harder. Even after the accident, Virgil wasn’t given any time off to take care of Patton. Patton seems to understand, but he can still see how hurt he is. His daddy isn’t there for him, and Roman knows how hard that is– however, Virgil is at least trying to provide for his sons, unlike Roman’s. 

But nonetheless, Roman really needs to find a job, so he can make this easier for Virgil and the boys; so Virgil doesn’t have to work almost 24/7 just to feed his kids. 

“Roman, I– I’m going to be out for a while today, I have two finals this afternoon and a shift at the warehouse between, so I won’t be back until late. Can you–” 

“Bathe Patton and make sure the boys get to bed?” 

Virgil smiles sheepishly. “I’m sorry about all of this. I know it isn’t what you signed up for.” 

There he goes again. Blaming himself. 

Roman sighs. “It’s no problem, Virgil. I’ll find a job soon enough, and you can take more time off. I know how hard this is on you.” 

Virgil coughs (still not over his bronchitis), and nods. “I don’t want to push you, but it would be nice, for both of us. So you don’t have to watch the boys all the time, and I don’t miss out on so much of their lives…” 

“Watching the boys all the time isn’t that bad. They’re good kids.” He says, shaking his head. “I’m just worried you’re overworking yourself.” 

Virgil sighs, smiling sadly. “Don’t worry about me. I gotta go, I’ll see you later.” 

Roman watches as Virgil pats his shoulder and leaves. He shakes his head, blowing air out of his mouth. 

The thing is, Roman can’t  _not_  worrying about Virgil. 

In the little over a month that they’d been living together, Roman’s developed…feelings for the elder man. He admires the way Virgil doesn’t let anything phase him, how he does everything he can for his family. Virgil is a determined character, one Roman would love to play in a musical with all of his dynamic quirks. 

Sometimes when they’re just talking, late at night while Virgil falls asleep on the couch, he finds himself staring at him. Admiring him, his strength, his– beauty. It’s a futile crush, it will pass, Roman tells himself, only…it isn’t. Roman is slowly falling head over heels for this man and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. 

Not that he’d let him know. He has enough to deal with. 

With a sigh, Roman goes into the kitchen, pouring himself some of the coffee Virgil left (even though he’s never really liked the drink) before starting on breakfast for the boys. The special accommodations bus would be there in an hour to pick up Patton, and subsequently Logan, so he had to make sure the boys were ready to go before then. 

As per the daily routine he’s established, Logan will only eat his toaster-ready waffles, and Patton will eat whatever Logan won’t, so he pops a few waffles into the microwave (they don’t have a toaster) and prepares a bowl of oatmeal to pop into the microwave after Logan’s waffles are done. Roman doesn’t feel particularly hungry today, so he just works through preparing breakfast for the boys instead of himself. 

After he finishes making their breakfast and leaves it on the counter to cool, Roman goes to wake the boys. Their room is always relatively clean, with only Patton’s half messy, but since Patton needs to wheel his chair around, even his floor is clean. 

Logan’s taken to sleeping in Patton’s bed since the accident. It’s rather cute, but seeing as the younger is prone to…other types of accidents, it isn’t a surprise when Roman wakes them that he immediately starts bawling. Roman is quick to hush him, telling him to go run a bath quickly while he changes Patton into day clothes and puts him in his wheelchair. 

When Patton is settled, Roman goes to check on Logan, depositing the older at the kitchen table, and helps Logan get clean and dressed before sending him to the kitchen as well. While the boys eat, Roman strips the bed and puts Patton’s soiled sheets and Logan’s clothes in the wash. 

“Roman! Roooman!” 

He stubs his toe on his way out of the laundry room (which is actually Virgil’s room) and runs up the stairs to see what Logan’s – or was it Patton’s? – yelling is all about. He tries to muffle his cursing as he hops into the kitchen. 

“Yeah? Yes? What is it, where’s the fire?” 

He immediately sees the issue. The clock over the stove reads seven fifteen, five minutes before the bus is supposed to pick them up, and the special accommodations bus stop is two blocks away. 

He curses again, not caring to cover his mouth, and rushes to get the boys’ bags ready and get them out the door (he really needs to get a job, make this easier for them all so Virgil can be there in the mornings). 

They make it to the bus, but barely. In fact, as Roman was running, pushing Patton along with Logan on his back piggy back style, the bus had closed its doors and started leaving. Thankfully the bus driver recognized them and was quick to stop and help them on. 

So now it’s just Roman. 

Exhausted, his hair a mess and still in his pajamas, sitting on the couch. This…isn’t what he thought his life would be like at 24. Taking care of some stranger’s kids, trying to find a job for a major he didn’t even get a degree in, just a hobby– maybe he should get a real job. Acting isn’t doing much for him. 

He sighs. All he’s ever really wanted to do was act, but his parents had told him he’d never find a job (he can only imagine their reaction if they found out about his _liking men–_ ), so he’d decided on teaching. He was good enough at english, and there was at least some connection to the arts. But he’d always wanted to be on broadway. 

Maybe his parents were right. 

Roman makes a decision, as he sits on the couch, finding himself scrolling through Tumblr instead of job hunting yet again, waiting for the kids to arrive home. He’s going to find a job, and he’s going to stop playing himself. He’s going to stop being a kid. 

He’ll start working, and Virgil will get rent money to pay a real babysitter, and Roman can rest easy. He can forget about his stupid little crush. 

It’s what’s best. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HHHHHowdy I’m regretting life where did I think this was going? 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: mentions of smoking weed, pregnancy, abortion, knives, self harm, self mutilation, attempted suicide/murder, child abuse, + domestic and drug abuse in Virgil’s flashbacks (which will be in italics) If you don’t want to read them, I’ll put a quick summary of his flashbacks under the cut, since his story with the boys’ mother is important but I understand these topics are kind of hard to read. 
> 
> This is really short but next chapter is the start of the angst? So… enjoy

 

Roman yawns, stretching. It’s early– too early for him to be up on one of Virgil’s rare days off that he can sleep in. But he needs to get ready for his interview. 

After a week of searching (and not on theater pages this time), he’d found an ad for an AP English teacher at the local high school. 

“Roman?..” Roman blinks at Virgil, who sits on the couch, blinking at the TV. “What’re you doing up?” 

“Oh, Virgil, good morning. I, uh– I have an interview, in a few hours.” 

“An interview? Not an audition?” Virgil quirks an eyebrow. Roman nods. 

“I, uh…figured the acting thing can be a background thing. Something I do for myself. I found a school looking for a new English teacher. The old one got in trouble for drinking on the job, I heard.” 

“That’s…terrible.” Virgil frowns. 

Roman nods. “Yeah, but one man’s loss is another’s gain.” 

“I suppose you’re right.” Virgil hums. 

“Why are you up so early? It’s your day off, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah, it is, I’m kinda just…used to being up this early.” 

“You should get some sleep if you can, I can make you some hot chocolate, if you want?” He asks, raising an eyebrow. Virgil shakes his head. 

“No, no, I’m fine. The boys will be awake, soon anyway.” 

“Alright…” Roman hums, nodding. The coffee maker goes off, and Roman pours himself a cup. “Coffee, then?” 

“Yes, please.” 

“Three spoonfuls of sugar and a splash of milk?” 

Virgil smiles, and Roman’s heart flutters. “You know me so well, princey.” 

“We’ve lived together for a while, and we’re usually up at the same time.” Roman says, shrugging. He pours himself some coffee, and fixes Virgil some, coming through the living room and giving it to him. He flops onto the couch next to Virgil, and yawns. “What’re you gonna do today? You should get some sleep.” 

“I probably will, but I wanna take the boys out somewhere before it gets too cold…” Virgil hums. 

“That sounds nice.” 

“Yeah.” Virgil turns so he faces Roman, and Roman can see him blushing lightly, which makes him blush too. “I know I probably don’t say it enough, but…Thank you. So much, for all of this.” 

“Of course, I–” 

“I mean it. You’re…doing so much for this little family, and the boys really like you. I’m inclined to agree.” 

Roman’s cheeks turn brighter. “I, uh– thank you. I’m glad they like me, I’ve never actually watched kids their age so I was worried about that…” 

“They’re a bit…old for their age. Aren’t they? It’s my fault.” Virgil looks down at his coffee, sighing. 

“It’s not your fault, I’m sure.” Roman says softly, and Virgil smiles softly. Roman shakes his head. Maybe he’ll see one day. 

They sit and watch tv for a while, making fun of the infomercials together, before the kids slowly get out of bed and Roman has to get ready to go. With a sigh, he stands as Virgil helps Patton into his chair, and gets ready for the day. 

* * *

Today is hopefully the start of…something good. 

* * *

Virgil smiles, running his hands through Logan’s hair. Patton sits on Logan’s other side, his youngest insisting he sit by his brother, and they watch Cat in the Hat together. Quiet family time is a rarity, and he’s happy that he just gets to love on his boys. 

“How do you boys feel about getting ice cream?” He mumbles on a commercial, and the boys perk up, eyes alight. 

“Ice cream?” 

“I’ll take you to that new shop by your school, and you can get whatever flavor you want.” He says, nodding with a soft smile as the boys perk up. 

“Really, daddy? It’s not too expensive?” 

Those words break Virgil’s heart. He’s the reason his boys don’t get to have fun things like ice cream all the time, why some nights he eats a little less so the boys can have more. Why they’re bullied and hurt so often. Why they’re so grown up…

_“I’m pregnant.” Virgil scoffs at Amber, rolling his eyes. This is obviously a joke; his fling with the school’s biggest pothead wasn’t serious, and he was really just doing it because his friends bet him he couldn’t (Well, that and he could get high with her after they fucked). Neither of them really cared about each other; in fact, they fought more than anything and then hate-fucked afterwards– and he used protection!  
_

_“That’s funny, Amber. Pass me the remote, get out of the way.”  
_

_“I’m not lying, asshole!” Amber yells, tossing something at Virgil. He flinches, and it hits his arm. Frowning, he picks it up, looking at it. A pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test.  
_

_Virgil’s first instinct is to throw it, face wrinkling up. “Ew, you peed on that! Or whoever took that. There’s no way you did.”_

_“Ugh, you’re a typical guy. Yes, I peed on it, but the fact is that you got me pregnant and you’re going to help me find an abortion clinic.”  
_

_“Fine. If you really think you’re pregnant, I’ll drive you to the whatever-clinic and you can get rid of it. You’d probably kill the thing anyway,” Virgil rolls his eyes, kicking the test back towards the woman standing in front of him. “For now, just get out of the way, will you?”_

Virgil, of course, regrets his words and actions now. But he was a teenager, and he was scared– even if he didn’t show it. He was a junior at the time, she was a senior (who was supposed to graduate a year ago, and couldn’t because she was held back). They were too young for kids.  _He_  was too young for kids. 

“Of course it isn’t. Come on, now, help daddy get Pat ready to go. Can you grab his coat, and I’ll get him in his chair? Thank you, Logan, you’re a really big helper. Isn’t he, Pat Pat?” 

“Yeah, he is! I love Lo sooo much!” 

“He loves you too. And I love you both.” 

“Well, of course silly! You’re our dad!” Patton giggles, and Virgil forces a smile. 

“Right…” 

_“What do you **mean**  she can’t get an abortion? We came here for one, and you’re saying she can’t get one?” Virgil looks at the nurse at the planned parenthood, panicking. She shakes her head, frowning.   
_

_“Miss Cortes is well into her third trimester. Honestly, I’m surprised that you two didn’t notice sooner, but the fact of the matter is, we do not do abortions this late into the pregnancy. We wouldn’t even consider it unless it were dire for either the mother or the baby.”  
_

_“But– We **can’t**  have a baby,” Amber pleads, and Virgil can see that dangerous look she usually gets in her eyes when she gets into fights at school. He can tell she’s starting to panic. “ **I**  can’t have a baby. My dad will kill me! My mom would roll in her grave!”   
_

_“I’m sorry, but we simply can’t. There’s– also something you two should know. You aren’t having one baby, you’re…having twins.”  
_

_“Twins?!” It’s Virgil’s time to panic. “So, we can’t get rid of it and– and it is actually **two**  its?”   
_

_The nurse is starting to look more and more distressed. “I– W– Well, yes..? Would you like to know the gen–”_

_“Miss, you said that I can’t get an abortion unless either me or the baby is in danger?”  
_

_Amber’s voice startles them both, but Virgil is the only one to see it coming. He tries to stop her, but before he can grab her wrist, amber has her pocket knife out and she’s digging it into her stomach._

_He doesn’t know what happens next, exactly. Only that there’s a lot of blood, and a lot of screaming. He knows that Amber’s sedated, and that they’re both transported to the hospital, but is seems like in the blink of an eye Virgil is holding two tiny little boys and his attitude immediately changes._

_Looking at the babies, named Logan and Patton at random by a flustered Virgil when asked by a nurse, he smiles. Smiles. Patton grabs Logan’s hand, and Virgil knows that they can’t be separated. It would just be cruel._

_Things didn’t turn out very well when Virgil told his mother. She beat him into the next century, but agreed to pay rent on an apartment for him and Amber, as long as he payed her back once he’d found a job. He does so quickly, a factory job nearby, but he has to drop out of school. When he goes to the hospital to tell Amber, she’s refusing to hold the babies and calling adoption agencies non stop, yelling when they say that it will take a while to get anyone over to her. Virgil panics._

_“I thought– I thought since you had them, we’d keep them?”  
_

_“Why would I want sniveling, dirty brats? You sure as hell can, but I sure as hell won’t be.” Amber scoffs, shifting. She has to be careful sitting, with the jagged cut running up her stomach stitched up neatly by doctors, another –neater–  below that, smaller, where the babies actually came out.  
_

_“Well, if you…get rid of them…you won’t separate them, right? They’re twins.”  
_

_“Why should I care if they are or not? Not my problem.”  
_

_And Virgil, no matter how much he didn’t want these kids, can’t let that happen. He was in the foster care system once, while his mom was on dui charges, and it hadn’t been pleasant. He doesn’t want to imagine being part of that never knowing that there was another half to you that you’d never meet._

_“Fine. Then call a doctor in here, and we’ll find the right paperwork. Because I’m bringing them home.”  
_

Virgil wonders what life would have been like, had they been anybody else. Had Amber not been such a danger to herself and others, had she not been into drugs. Had Virgil been more careful. Or even hadn’t started a relationship with her in the start. 

Amber used to come visit the kids, but since going to the hospital, she’d developed a…new drug problem. It wasn’t weed that got her high anymore, she said it was weak compared to the prescription drugs the hospital gave her. Then some of her friends got her into meth. After that, she only visited really to beat the hell out of Virgil; he always made sure the twins were in their nursery, and he kept that door locked when she came around. Eventually he was able to get her sent to jail, but that only lasted for a while until she came back. Then he had to move. 

Watching his twins cheerily eat their ice cream, soft smile on his lips as he fights back tears, he’s happy that he made the decision to keep them. 

Maybe one day he’ll tell them about their mother. They always ask. 

But for now…he’s just glad to have them in his life. 

His babies. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A SUMMARY OF VIRGIL’S FLASHBACKS: Virgil, in high school, had a fling with a girl; they smoked a lot of weed and fucked, it wasn’t serious, but he got her pregnant. While it isn’t mentioned, it’s heavily implied that both Virgil and his girlfriend were physically and emotionally abused by their parents, hence their use of drugs as an escape and why they didn’t want to keep the children. They go to an abortion clinic, but apparently she’s too far along (about eight months pregnant, she’d been pregnant for a while unknowingly), and so she takes a knife and stabs herself. Virgil’s mother, upon hearing about this, beats him and he moves out with the twins, whom the mother wants no part in. He drops out of school to provide for them. Mother gets harder into drugs, and beats Virgil when she comes over to visit. He moved away. She has no idea where he or the boys are…for now.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: Warnings: Abuse flashback, mentions of drug use, nightmares, panic attacks

_“You did this to me!” Virgil flinches as Amber throws a glass at him, the glass slamming into the wall just behind him. The glass shatters and crashes loudly, and Virgil can hear Logan start to cry in the bedroom. Amber growls in anger, grabbing Virgil by his hair and tugging him forward. “Shut it up. Now. Now!”_

_She tosses Virgil against the wall that she threw the glass against and he crumbles to the floor, landing in broken glass, and he groans._

_“Get up! Shut it up! It’s annoying me!” He flinches, and scrambles up, his limbs aching as he makes his way into the twins’ bedroom, locking it behind him when he’s in there.  
_

_“Shh, it’s– It’s okay…Shh…” He whispers, picking Logan up and rocking him and bouncing the babe on his hip. He coos, sniffling and hiding his own tears as he reassures the tiny baby he’ll be okay. “It’ll be okay…Shh, you’re okay….”  
_

_Once he’s calmed Logan down, he sets him back in his crib and goes out of the room, and Amber is gone as well as half of his paycheck and his TV._

Virgil gasps, eyes flying open as he sits up. He’s dripping in sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead. The memory is sickening, and he’s terrified for a split second, not knowing where he is. 

He feels sick to his stomach, like he’s going to throw up and he can’t breathe. It hurts, so so much. He needs air. Crying out, he scrambles up from bed and makes his way up the stairs. Stubbing his toe multiple times, he finally makes his way up the stairs and out of the dingy dark basement he sleeps in. Once upstairs, he calms down significantly, but he’s still struggling to breathe. He takes a deep breath and makes his way to the front door. Slowly, he makes his way to the front door, unlocking it and stepping outside. 

The cool air feels nice on his damp skin, and he sighs, relieved. 

Dreams like this aren’t uncommon. Whether they’re memories, like tonight’s, or horrible, terrible concoctions of fears and what if’s. Nothing he does helps get rid of them, and he hardly ever gets a proper sleep. They’ve been coming around less, lately, but since Patton’s accident, they’re back and in full swing. 

He can’t stop thinking about Amber. Her eyes, full of anger and blown with her high. How strong she is– she never used to be so strong, never, until she got into the heavier drugs. She was violent when she was just into weed, but she never won fights (Virgil, when they were messing around, was guilty of getting in physical fights with her). But then came the heroin…

He shudders. 

He can clearly remember the day he decided to move. Amber had just beat him to a pulp, and Logan and Patton were two; they were in their exploration phase – the terrible two’s, whatever they’re called – and they refused to stay still, and to put them in one room and tell them not to leave until he came and got them? They just weren’t having it. 

They had, somehow, managed to unlock their bedroom door multiple times and escape the safety of their bedroom. Luckily, they only usually did that whilst Virgil was still collecting himself after her attacks. 

Virgil had caught sight of blonde in the corner of his eye as he’d been thrown to the ground. His eyes widened and he gasped, trying to crawl up, but Amber pushed him down again. So the boys had to watch him as their ‘mama’ beat him. Later, as he crawled to the bathroom to clean his wounds, he took a look at Logan and Patton crying in the corner and he knew he needed to make it better. 

So he did. He took them and uprooted them right away, moving them to Florida and far away from their mother. She hasn’t found them yet, and he’s glad. She’s probably in jail, or something. 

“Virgil? You okay?” Virgil raises his head from between his knees, looking up at Roman. He smiles. 

“Hey. Yeah, I’m alright.” Virgil hums. “Bad dream. I’m okay, though.” 

“I heard you stumbling around earlier. You sounded like you were running away from something. You sure you’re okay?” 

He nods. “Yes, I’m sure.” 

“Alright.” Roman nods as well and sits on the stoop next to him. “You wanna talk about it?” 

“No– Not that I don’t like you, b- but–” 

“No, no, I get it!” Roman says to reassure him, pressing a hand to the elder’s shoulder, making him flinch. He immediately pulls away. “Sorry. But really, I get it. I get a lot of nightmares too, and sharing them isn’t high on my list either.” He says, and Virgil chuckles. “Just know I’m here if you need to talk, okay?” 

Virgil smiles at him. “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“Good. Now, this is nice and all, but do you wanna get inside? It’s pretty cold, and I could go with some coffee.” 

“Yeah, that sounds good.” He says, nodding, and Roman smiles, standing and offering a hand to him. Virgil takes it and stands as well, following Roman inside. A coffee pot is already sitting on the counter, steaming, and he figures that’s why it took Roman so long to get outside after he heard him. He smiles, pouring some for the both of them. 

“What time do you have to get to work?” 

He looks up, humming. “Six today. I’ll be back by three before I have to run off to class at four.” 

Roman nods. “Alright. I’ll get the boys ready for the bus and stuff, then. Will you be home in time to pick them up from the bus stop after school, or should I grab them?” 

“It’s okay, I’ll grab them. I’m sure they’ll be glad to see me at this time of day.” 

“Alright.” He checks the clock. “You’d better start getting ready, though. It’s just turning five a.m.” 

Virgil’s head snaps up and he groans, setting his coffee down. He dreads going back downstairs, but he doesn’t show it. He just gets to getting ready, keeping himself busy with collecting everything he needs for his classes and getting dressed for work. Soon enough he’s out the door with a quick good-bye to Roman. His nightmare is almost all the way forgotten by the time he’s gone. 

* * *

Roman sighs, setting his laptop down and getting up for another cup of coffee. It’s almost a little past two o’clock, and he should stop with the coffee, but he needs the caffeine. He’s so…exhausted, lately. He’s always so tired, and he always feels so heavy. He suspects it’s the weather changing. 

He’s grabbing something to eat as well when the doorbell rings, and he jumps, setting his food down as he makes his way to the door. When he opens the front door, he frowns when he sees a distraught-looking woman. She looks around his age, only a few years older. Her light blonde hair is shaved and closely-cropped to her head, and she had a number of scars littering her entire body. The light color of her hair compliments her tan skin rather nicely. 

“H- Hello?..” He asks hesitantly.

“Virgil?” 

Roman’s frown deepens. “…No, I’m Virgil’s roommate. And you?” 

“I’m S- Sarah,” The woman responds, and Roman quirks an eyebrow. “I’m his sister. He hasn’t told you about me? W- We haven’t seen each other in years, but I– Is he home? It’s an emergency, I really need to see him…” 

Roman frowns, his eyebrows furrowing. It’s a lot of information at once, and he’s a bit flustered. 

“N- No, he’s not– Uh, he’s at work for another hour. Would you like to come in? I could text him…” 

“No, I don’t want to bother him. Just– do you h- have coffee?..” 

Roman nods, and steps aside. “Yeah, sure. Yeah. Come in.” 

“Okay.” She sniffles, and steps inside, and Roman frowns. He has a bad feeling about this, but if she needs help… 

He leads her into the house, gets her a coffee, and they sit and wait for Virgil.

* * *

 Virgil smiles at the boys, trailing after the boys as Logan pushes Patton down the sidewalk. They were so happy to see him at the bus stop instead of Roman– this isn’t to say they don’t love Roman, but they hardly get to see their father these days. 

“Daddy! Daddy, can we get ice cream?” 

His smile wavers. 

“Not today, Pat, daddy’s got to drop you off and get to school. But we can get some soon, I promise.” He says, smiling softly and biting his lips. 

“Okay, daddy, don’t worry!” Patton smiles, turning back forward. They come up to the house, and Virgil helps Logan get Patton inside, lifting him in his chair up the steps outside. The boys call out to Roman when they get inside, ready to tell the other man about their day. However, they halt to a stop in the doorway that leads to the door, and Virgil almost runs into them. 

“Roman has a friend over!” 

“A friend? A friend!” 

Logan pushes Patton farther into the room, chattering, and Virgil would usually smile and enter to introduce himself, but when he steps into the living room his heart stops. 

“Amber?” 


	10. Chapter 10

Amber smirks at Virgil, standing. He immediately flinches, but his fight or flight reflexes are kicking in and he immediately rushes forward, scooping Logan up and pulling Patton’s chair and rushing them to their bedroom. The boys giggle and squeal, not understanding the severity of the situation. He wants to lock himself in the room with them, and call the police, but then he remembers Roman and oh god Roman let her in and– 

“You two stay in here. Lock the door and only come out when Roman or I tell you it’s okay, alright?” 

“But daddy!” Patton whines, but Logan – smart, beautiful Logan who always knows when something’s wrong – just covers Pat’s mouth, nodding. 

“Alright, daddy, promise.” Logan says, and Virgil smiles. He kisses both their heads, and turns to leave. 

“I love you boys.” 

“Love you too.” 

He takes a deep breath and makes his way back to the living room. Amber is still there, smirking, her hand on her hip. Roman sits at the dining room table, clearly confused. 

“Long time no see, huh, ‘daddy?’ Did you miss me?” Amber asks, her voice menacing. Virgil whimpers. He hasn’t missed that tone. 

“I can’t say I did, Amber. How’ve you been? You look like shit.” He says weakly, trying to act normal. Amber snarls at him. 

“Well, I’ve been in jail the last four years since your little stunt with the cops.” She growls, stalking forward. Virgil can hear Roman’s chair scrape across the floor, like he’s getting up to defend him, but before he can Amber has Virgil pinned against the wall by his neck, and she’s breathing heavy. “You thought you could get rid of me? Well you’re fucking wrong. And you aren’t winning this time.” 

“Just l- let me go, please…” Virgil pleads. He gasps for breath that Amber won’t let him have. “Please, Amber…” 

“Oh, I’ll let you go.” She punches him in the gut and lets go of her hold on Virgil’s neck; he crumbles to the floor with a yelp. Roman moves forward, but Amber spins on the heels of her feet towards him and pulls out a knife– the very same pocket knife she tried to self- abort the twins with, six years ago. 

“Don’t even think about it, fairy. I could gut you before you even knew what happened to you.” She spits. “Now, Virgil. I think we need to talk.” 

Roman backs off, eyes wide, and Virgil whimpers. 

“No. You need t- to leave.” He says, voice shaking. “Please.” 

Amber smirks. “Awe, how sweet. You’re still begging me, even after six years.” 

“Amber, we’re done, plea–” 

“I want the kids.” 

The air in the room seems to leave. Virgil feels fear creep up his throat, and he swallows a panicked whine. Roman looks like he wants to  

“No. Absolutely not.” 

“You have no choice in this. I’ve already called my lawyer.” 

“Bu–” 

“You ruined my life, Virgil Sanders, and now it’s payback time.” Amber growls. “If you couldn’t handle it, you should have thought about that before you decided to keep the brats.” 

She turns on her heel, blowing a quick kiss to Roman before she makes her way out– but not before she goes into Virgil’s coat and grabs his grocery money for the week. 

She disappears as if she wasn’t there, the only evidence that she was being the bruising red on Virgil’s neck from where she’d held him. 

Roman, upon recovery from his shock, helps Virgil off of the floor. “Who…Who was that?” 

“The boys’ mom.” Virgil replies. His voice isn’t nearly as strong as it was earlier, and he shakes as Roman helps him to the couch. 

“She– She told me she was your sister, she said her name w- was–” 

Virgil shakes his head to cut him off. “She’s manipulative. I understand, I’m not mad.” 

“She– She choked you out in your own house. How is she even tha– that strong?” Roman runs a hand through his hair, eyes wide and filled with fear. “We need to call the police. She assaulted you, an- and threatened me with a knife, she’s– she’s c- crazy!” 

“It won’t stop her.” Virgil says. He sounds so…hopeless. It breaks Roman’s heart– Virgil has never once sounded like this to him. Strong, brave Virgil. “It won’t stop her. She’ll just come back when she gets out of jail again, and soon she’ll go after the boys themselves. The only thing I can do is try and fight.” 

“But Virgil–” 

“That’s the only option, Roman.” Virgil snaps, and Roman flinches. There are tears in Virgil’s eyes. “That’s the…only…option…” 

Roman nods. “Well, I’m not letting you go through this alone. I’m here to fight with you.” 

Virgil’s head snaps up. “Y- You…what?..” 

“Those boys are like my own. I love them with my whole heart, and I’m not letting someone like that take them. Who knows what she’ll do.” 

Virgil smiles, and throws himself at Roman. He wraps his arms around him tightly, and just…cries. He cries and cries until there’s nothing left and then some. Years of loneliness and fear come bursting out of him like a dam. 

“Thank you. Thank you.” 

“Shh, it’s okay…” Roman murmurs, rubbing Virgil’s back gently as he sobs. “It’s okay.”

She won’t hurt you anymore. Not if I can help it. 


	11. Chapter 11

“Wh- What do you  _mean_  I can’t get time off for this? This is my  _children_.  _Please_ , I– No, Rosanna,  _please_. I’ll– I’ll work extra shifts when this is all fixed! I won– I won’t take time off for class, I’ll d- drop out. Please.  _Please_!” 

Roman chews his fingernails as he listens to Virgil on the phone with his boss. He’s been begging for days off to settle this in court, and the date is rapidly approaching, but his boss won’t let him take off. It hurts, having to watch Virgil push off another year of earning his degree. He’d finally gotten his GED the year before, he told him, and he wanted to get a degree in psychology but he’s had to put it off so much with the boys. 

Roman stands, trying to tune out Virgil’s cries of frustration as he negotiates his days off, and makes his way to the backyard to check on Logan and Patton; they’d been shooed outside almost immediately when Virgil got on the phone, the other man not wanting his boys to see him in such a state. He sits on the back step, watching Logan push Patton on the lone swing tied to a tree branch in the small backyard. 

“Hi, Roman.” They greet in unison, and Roman smiles sadly at them. 

“Hi, boys.” 

“Is daddy done yet? Pat says his head hurts and he wants to lay down.” 

“I don’t think so.” Roman sighs. “He’ll be off the phone soon, I’m sure, he’s just super busy right now.” 

“Does it have to do with the mean lady that came over the other day?” Patton asks, his little eyes wide and full of sadness. Roman’s heart breaks. “The one daddy said was trying to take us away?” 

“Y- Yeah.” He says, voice cracking. “Yeah, but daddy and I are trying our best not to let that happen. Okay? You’re not going anywhere, not if we can help it.” 

Now is Logan’s turn to speak. “Promise?” 

“I…” Roman gulps. He knows how court cases usually go. “I promise we’ll do our best.” 

The twins nod. Logan says, “Okay.” 

Eventually, Virgil comes outside and sits next to Roman with a sigh. “Hey.” 

“Hey. Get your schedule changed?” 

“Barely.” Virgil says, his voice cracking. He looks…exhausted. “I just got off the phone with my professor…” 

“Yeah?” 

“If I drop my classes, I have to restart my entire four year degree. I– I only had a year and a half to graduate…” 

“I’m– I’m sorry…” Roman says, his voice gentle. “I…wish I could help you so much.” 

“It’s– It’s okay.” He swallows. “I’ll get there eventually. But right n- now…” 

Virgil clutches his arms close to his body, biting his lip so hard it probably hurts. Logan and Patton watch them with silent, scared eyes. 

“Daddy?” 

Virgil forces a smile to his lips. “Hi boys.” 

“Are you o- okay?” 

He nods. “Yes, I’m fine Patton. Are you feeling okay? You said your head hurt before I sent you out…” 

Patton shakes his head, and Virgil immediately stands, scooping Patton up in his arms. 

“Let’s get you into bed, then. It’s getting pretty late, I think we could both do with an early bed time.” 

“Can I stay in your bed tonight? I don’t wanna sleep anywhere else…” Pat asks shyly, burying his face in his father’s neck with a sigh. Virgil’s heart aches at the thought of potentially losing his sweet little boys. 

“Yes, of course. Logan, you don’t have to go to bed now if you don’t want, but you’re free to join us.” 

Logan shakes his head. “No, I’ll come with you. I’m tired too…” 

“Alright.” Virgil grabs Logan’s hand with his free one. He looks to Roman. “Ro, can you bring Pat’s chair in? Just leave it in the kitchen, and I’ll move it when I get up for work in the morning.” 

Patton whines. “Nooo, I want Ro to sleep with us too!” 

“Yeah, can’t he?” Logan adds. 

Virgil looks to Roman, hesitating. The other man looks embarrassed, his cheeks bright red. 

“Please?” Patton asks, voice barely a whisper. “If– If we have to go away, we’ll miss Roman too.” 

Patton’s sad face absolutely breaks Virgil’s hears, and he looks to Roman. 

“Roman?..” 

Roman looks just as broken, and he nods immediately, standing up from the stoop. 

“Of– Of course. Of course, if it’s okay–” 

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Virgil says, cutting him off. “I hope you don’t mind, but it’ll be cramped…” 

“That’s okay.” Roman grabs Patton’s chair, pushing it inside as they all enter the house. Virgil goes around and locks the doors, and they get the boys ready for bed together before they find themselves all down in the basement, squished together with Logan and Patton between them. 

The twins and Virgil fall asleep rather quickly, probably exhausted, but Roman stays awake a little longer, just observing Virgil’s bedroom. Well– Where he sleeps. Roman could hardly call the basement a  _bedroom_ , not when it’s cold and dark, damp from the dripping pipes; the broken washing machine and dryer stand in one corner, boxes of christmas decorations in the other. 

Why did Virgil choose to sleep down here, when the bedroom upstairs was fine? A spare bedroom really wasn’t worth sleeping down  _here_. No wonder Virgil got sick all the time. 

He sighs, letting his eyes slip shut and his his mind wander to the email he’d received earlier in the day. Maybe they can find a three bedroom apartment or something with his new job, since he’ll be able to help with rent finally. 

Right now, though, he needs to focus on making sure Virgil keeps his boys. 

* * *

Virgil wrings his hands together, biting his lip nervously. His knee bounces nervously as he sits, waiting for judge to enter. He watches through the window of the family courtroom as Patton and Logan play with a social services worker in the other room. Most children would be oblivious to the situation, but he can see the fear and apprehension in the boys’ eyes as they play, occasionally stopping to just… look in at the courtroom. Wave to Virgil. 

“Alright, let’s get started…Virgil sanders and Amber Cortes, I presume?” 

Virgil stands and shakes the judge’s hand. Amber simply smiles from her seat and nods. Once everyone is settled, the judge at his desk and Virgil and Roman on one side, Amber and her– her  _lawyer_  on the other side. God, Amber can afford a lawyer and he can’t. He feels pathetic. 

“So, you two are both looking to have full custody of your twin boys, Patton and Logan…” The judge mumbles, looking over the file in front of him. Virgil nods, his voice cracking as he answers. 

“Y- Yes, sir.” 

“Call me John.” The j– John smiles at Virgil, and he shrinks down in his seat. “I understand that this is a very difficult case. Miss Cortes, you gave up your parental rights immediately upon the birth of these twins, why are you just now trying to sue for custody?” 

“I– I knew at the time that I couldn’t handle them. I wasn’t technically together with Virgil, and we were both still in school. I thought it was…” Amber sniffles, putting on water works for everyone. Only Virgil knows it’s fake. “I thought it was what was best for the twins, to put them out of my care. Virgil seemed to want them so bad, and I could still visit them if he did, so I…I gave them to him.” 

“My records say you have a record of criminal domestic violence, and that you’re out of prison on parole…you know, most courts wouldn’t even consider giving you back your rights, especially after signing them over.” John peeks over his glasses at her, and hands her a box of tissues. Virgil feels like he can’t breathe. “We, however, are not one of those courts. Please, tell us what got you put in jail.” 

“I–” Amber wails, and Virgil finds himself clutching his hands so tight that he can feel blood pooling in the crescent-shaped divots in his palms from his fingernails. “I was only defending myself! Virgil, he– he used to get high, and he got violent– I didn’t want him hitting me or–” 

“That’s completely wrong!” 

“Mr. Sanders, control your friend please, or I’ll have to ask him to leave. You will have your time to defend yourself when Ms. Cortes is finished with her accounts.” 

“Y- Yes sir!” Virgil shoots Roman a quick look, pleading. Roman settles back in his chair, looking distraught. 

John nods. “Continue, please, Ms. Cortes.” 

Amber nods, sniffling. “I– I didn’t want him hitting me or the kids, I had to stop him, so of course I had to hit back. I had to make sure he couldn’t hurt them!” 

Virgil watches helplessly as Amber cries, helpless as the judge seems to soften at her. His softer looks at Virgil evolve to angry glares the more she speaks. Every time he dabs at his eyes, Amber smirks at him. 

“Well, Mr. Sanders? Ms. Cortes seems to be very upset. Can you rebuke any of her claims?” 

Virgil wants to scream. The courts back in New York, when their court case first came up, Virgil had the same issues– people not believing him. People thinking he was abusing her. But, ultimately, he got evidence and they were both drug tested, and the case went in favor of Virgil.  _Where were the court records?_ Where– Why didn’t they drug test them  _now_? 

He tries to tell his side of the story, but every time he does Amber’s lawyer cuts in with different accusations– 

_“You **did**  smoke week, however, didn’t you?”   
_

_“You admit to getting physical with Ms. Cortes, though.”  
_

_“So why would you take custody if you didn’t want them in the first place?”_

He tries. But…Ultimately… 

“In the case of custody over Logan and Patton Sanders, the court legally recognize miss Amber Cortes as the legal guardian.” 


	12. Chapter 12

Patton doesn’t understand. Daddy promised. Roman  _promised_. So  _why_  is this woman taking them by the hand, and  _why_  is daddy telling him that he’s  _sorry_? 

“I’ll– I’ll have to get some clothes, for the b- boys, so they have something to wear until you can get some…” 

Wait, what? 

“D- Daddy? Where are we go- going?..” He asks, his voice barely a whisper, and he can see daddy trying not to cry. It dawns on both Patton and Logan almost immediately, and he shakes his head, his breath leaving him. “No. N- No. No, daddy, you p- promised!” 

“I know.” Daddy whispers, crouching down in front of Patton, but Patton turns his head away, tears in his own eyes. He sniffles and rubs at his eyes. “I’m sorry, Patton. I know I promised, and daddy’s going to get you back, okay? He w- will.” 

Patton sobs, whimpering. He throws himself at his father, almost falling out of his chair, and they hug for a long time before the woman is grabbing him by the hand again, and pulls him and Logan away. Both boys protest, sobbing, and daddy protests as well – saying he needs to get their clothes – but the woman simply dismisses everything and they’re taken away. 

The woman isn’t very nice. She looks nice when he first met her at the house that day – that last nice day before everything went terrible and daddy and Roman got sad – but she’s far from it. Both boys were confused when they’d come out of their bedroom that night when daddy called them out and he had bruises on his neck and he looked like he was going to cry, but they didn’t mention it. But upon arriving home with her, they realize why. 

Her apartment is in an even worse part of town than they did at daddy’s, and on the second floor. There are big, loud dogs barking and despite it being a sunny day it’s dark outside of the apartment complex. When they get out of the car, she goes right in and leaves Patton (who is still in his wheelchair and can’t get out on his own) and Logan to get out themselves. 

It takes twenty minutes, but eventually they get into the building. Getting up the stairs is more difficult, and it takes them nearly an hour. By now, the dim lighting of the apartment complex is the only source of light, the sun long gone. The woman – Amber – is angry when they finally do show up. She has a strange look in her eyes, and she’s very mad. She smacks them both, and threatens to take away Patton’s chair if it was going to cause her issues. They’re both startled by her violence; daddy  _never_  hit them, not even just a spanking. 

She sends them both to their shared bedroom without dinner, ultimately, deciding that was a suitable punishment for being late. There’s only one twin bed, and Logan helps Patton into bed before climbing in himself, both of them still in their day clothes since she hadn’t gotten clothes from daddy. 

They both fall asleep with tears in their eyes, hoping daddy comes to save them. 

* * *

“You made an appeal, right? You’re going to take her to court? She– she can’t take them. Right?” 

“Of course I did, Roman, I’m not an idiot.” Virgil snaps, running his hands through his hair and tugging. Roman is driving Virgil’s car, because the other man is too distraught, and he’s taking his time. Neither of them want to go home to the empty house. His face softens when he realizes he’s yelled. “I’m sorry. Sorry. I– I know you probably didn’t want to come with in the first place, and now I’m yelling–” 

“You’re right, I didn’t want to come with.” Roman says, and Virgil’s eyes widen and he frowns, as if he’d called it. “I didn’t want to come with because I didn’t want this to happen. You and those boys don’t deserve this, but it’s happening, and I’m more than willing to come and support you, Virgil.” 

Roman pulls over in a parking lot so he can turn and look at Virgil seriously. 

“I care about you guys. I know I’m just the guy that lives in your old bedroom – and yes, I know it was your room before I moved in and I hate that you sleep in the basement, it’s uninhabitable, really,” He adds when Virgil looks about to protest, “But I really do care about you and I…I love you guys. I know you’re going through a lot of stress right now, but know that I’m right here for you, okay?” 

Virgil looks shocked– Like he’s never heard those words before. The tears that were threatening to fall previously start to trail down his cheeks, and he starts to sob. Shoulders shaking, her curls in on himself in the passenger of the car with a whimper. Roman reaches across the center console, pressing a hand against his shoulder. 

“Hey. Hey, shh, it’s okay. We’re going to get them back.” Roman coos, and Virgil leans against the console, sobbing. Roman does his best to hug him, despite the awkward position, letting Virgil cry until he can’t anymore. 

They make it home eventually, and by then Virgil’s face is blank, free of any form of emotion. He sleeps in the twins’ bedroom that night, his heart aching. Roman doesn’t want to leave him alone, but he insists. He swears he can hear Virgil crying in the night. 

* * *

Patton has a doctor’s appointment. 

His cast is supposed to come off of his arm, and the doctor is going to fit a new one on his ankle and tell him when he can start using crutches. And Patton is excited – he  _hates_  his wheelchair – only…there’s one problem. Miss Amber (as she’s instructed them to call her, instead of mommy or mother) isn’t in the apartment. 

This is normal for most every day; they don’t know where she goes, but it very clearly isn’t work. Whenever she comes back she’s either drunk or she had that mean look in her eyes like the very first night. And even though Patton really wants to go to his doctor’s appointment, he has no hope. Sometimes he dreams of going back to daddy and Roman, but he…he can’t find himself thinking it’s going to be reality anymore. 

Logan is still holding onto this hope. 

“Logan, where do you think Amber is?” He asks one day, his voice and body weak from malnutrition. She hasn’t fed them well in the over two weeks that they’ve been living with her. They’ve been eating her leftovers, and whatever they could sneak from the kitchen (they learned very quickly that this place is not like daddy’s house where they can grab whatever they want as long as they don’t spoil their supper). 

 Logan shrugs. 

“I dunno. She never tells us.” 

Patton hums, curling farther in on himself as his stomach grumbles. “My doctor’s appointment is today. I remember, because daddy told me it was the eleventh. It’s the eleventh today.” 

“It’s the eleventh?” Logan looks shocked, and Patton nods with a frown. His eyes widen and he goes to the calendar in the wall, standing on his tiptoes so he can reach and count the days. “W- We haven’t been to school in over two weeks, Pat!” 

“So?” Patton asks. All hope has seemed to fade from him, and it’s painful just to see. “It’s just two weeks we haven’t been picked on for having a daddy and a Roman.” 

“B- But daddy says if we miss so much school that the p- p- p’lice will come.” 

Patton’s eyes perk up. “Th- The police?..” 

“Yeah. He said if we miss too much school, that the school will be sad and call th’ police to come get us.” Logan says, pushing his glasses up. 

Suddenly there’s hope. It’s just a flicker, but it’s there. They’re going to go home to their daddy. 

…They just need to wait. 

* * *

“I set up a new court date.” Virgil sighs, falling onto the couch one morning. Roman hums, exhausted. He shouldn’t be staying up so late, waiting for Virgil to come home. He has his own job to worry about now, and staying up until four in the morning isn’t doing him any good. 

“When is it?” 

“A month.” He says. His voice sounds strained. “I– They’ve already been there two weeks, Roman, and I still have two more until the visit date scheduled by social services. I…What if they’re hurting? What if she’s drunk all the time, or– or high– what if she–” He swallows. “Roman…I– I’m going to do something. I’m going to do something, and I know it’s a lot to ask, but…if anything happens to me I need you to promise me something.” 

The change in Virgil’s demeanor is startling, and Roman forces himself to nod. “O- Of course. Anything, Virgil.” 

“…Promise, if I get in trouble, you’ll take care of the boys? I– They love you. And you said you love them. So please, please–” 

“Virgil?..What are you doing?..” 

He takes a deep breath. 

“I need to get rid of Amber.” 


	13. Chapter 13

Roman blinks at Virgil. “…What?” 

“I–” Virgil licks his lips, his hands wringing together. “I don’t want to tell you too much, then you’d be involved, but let– let’s just say I’m– I’m doing something that needs to be done. Has been needed for years.” 

Roman shakes his head, grabbing Virgil by the hand. “Virgil, no. No, I– I can’t let you do that. You love your boys too much to resort to– to– th- that.” He shudders. Virgil squeezes his eyes together, shaking his head; his body shakes with repressed sobs. Roman swallows one of his own. “Please, Virgil, promise that you aren’t going to–” 

“I can’t. I  _can’t_  promise that.” Virgil looks panicked now, and he pulls away. He stands, running his hands through his hair, his voice cracking as he continues. “I can’t let her hurt them. She’s a– a sick person, always has been, and I know they’re probably hurting right now. I– They’ll probably be dead by the end of the month, and I c- can’t–” 

There’s a knock on the door, and Virgil flinches. He stands, and Roman follows, making their way to the front door. A police officer and an older woman stand in front of them on the front stoop and Virgil’s eyes widen. Police? No, Nobody could know about his plan, he– he only told Roman. He can’t go to jail before he does it, he can’t–

“He– Hello.” 

“Hello Mr. Sanders, I’m here with Mrs. Johnson from Roosevelt elementary? Logan and Patton have had twelve unexcused absences in the last three weeks, and as per Roosevelt’s truancy code, we’re required to visit the home for a welfare check on the boys. May we come in?” 

Virgil blinks, his confusion overtaking his racing heart. He doesn’t even feel fear at the thought of the boys not being at school. He’s too numb. “…Th– The boys…don’t live here anymore.” He mumbles. 

The police officer (whom Roman remembers as the one that came before the accident) frowns. “What do you mean, Mr. Sanders?” 

“Didn’t the court notify you? They said they would.” Virgil says, with a frown. “They live with their mother now.” 

“The school wasn’t informed…” Mrs. Johnson hums, eyebrows furrowing. “We’re supposed to be notified right away if there’s any change in address…” 

“Could you give us the mother’s address, possibly? We’re still required to check up on them, even if they aren’t living with you…” 

“She didn’t give me her address. You– You’ll have to go and get it from the courthouse…” 

The police officer nods, taking the address of the courthouse and they’re on their way again, leaving Virgil and Roman alone. Virgil stands there a long while, just staring out the front door, before his knees quake and collapse underneath him. Roman curses, catching Virgil before his head hits the ground. 

“Shit! Virgil, what the hell?!” He lifts Virgil bridal style, ignoring the way his heart stutters, and carries him to the couch. Virgil is shaking with sobs in his arms, and won’t let go of his shirt, clutching it with a white-knuckle grip. “H- Hey, Virge, c’mon. It’s okay, buddy. Hey, the boys are gonna be fine…Shh…” 

“Th- They haven’t– b- been to sch– they haven– bee– been t- t– school i- in- n– in t- tw- two w– wee– two wee–” 

“Shh…” Roman’s hand runs through his hair, trying to soothe him, but Virgil is far too worked up. Roman takes a deep breath. 

This is going to be a while. 

* * *

Logan is searching for the fridge for food for the both of them when there’s a knock on the door; the twins  both flinch, expecting it to burst open, but when it doesn’t the look at each other hesitantly. Daddy always told them not to answer the door, but Amber never gave them any rules (well– none that they didn’t have to learn the hard way). 

Patton bites his lip, looking warily at Logan. “I– Should we–” 

“A– Amber wouldn’t be happy…” 

Patton nods. 

“…But–” 

The knocking at the door gets louder. “Miss Cortes? Police, open up.” 

Both boys eyes widen, and they scramble to the door. The police being here would not make the others in the apartment complex happy, and they’d likely contact Amber before they could leave with the police officer. Logan scrambles to the door, Patton falling off of the couch in attempt to get into his chair. 

He whips the door open, eyes wide, to the astonishment of the police officer in front of the door. His guidance counselor, Mrs. Johnson, is next to him. She crouches down in front of Logan, peering inside with a concerned frown on her face. When she sees how the boys look, emaciated and hungry, bruises covering their bodies, they’re immediately brought to the place they last saw their dad. 

Everything that happens next is too fast for the boys to comprehend. One second they’re in Amber’s apartment, the next they’re in a room, a nice lady playing with them. They’re there for a few hours, until another nice lady and her husband arrive and usher them into their car. 

They ask where they’re going, if the nice couple is going to drive them to daddy’s, but the response? 

“You’re going to stay with us for a while, boys.” 

…And those are not the words that they wanted to hear. 

When Virgil gets the call, he’s just barely calmed down and the almost immediately he’s thrown into another panic attack. He rushes to the courthouse they’d done their custody dealings at, but they’re already gone. They won’t tell him a thing about where the boys are, and when he demands that he get them back, that this isn’t legal, he’s escorted out by security. 

Which is how he finds himself back in his living room, pacing, and calling every lawyer in town. It isn’t until he’s on the phone with one particular lawyer named Talyn that he gets somewhere. 

The brand new attorney, fresh from law school, wasn’t very respected in their field but once they’d heard his story, they immediately wanted to help. They even offered to do it pro bono – for experience – but Virgil immediately refused. 

Their first meeting is at Talyn’s law firm. They’ve already done tons of research, and came to him with a stack of notes. 

“So, shall we get to business?” 

“Please.” 

* * *

They’ve been at the strangers’ home for a few weeks, and they despise it. 

David and Ally, their foster parents, have three of their own kids, and they’re two of three foster kids staying with them, totaling five children in the house. They have to sleep in two different rooms for the first time in their lives, and they  _hate_  it. 

David gets  _very_  frustrated when Logan has accidents, and the eight year old boy he shares a room with laughs at him whenever David forces him to wash his sheets. Not only are the other kids mean with their words, but also their actions. The other boy in care with them is fourteen and very angry. He gets annoyed when Logan uses words bigger than an average six year old (words he doesn’t understand) and often pushes him around. The other kids laugh at them when they talk about going back to their dad and hit him, telling them there was a reason they were taken away. 

At least Patton’s cast is off his arm. His ankle is still not healed, and he needs his wheelchair, but David and Ally are making him use crutches, even though he can’t hold himself up with them. 

“Kids! Dinner!” Logan and Patton look up from the couch in the living room as the other children stomp down the stairs. Logan quickly helps his older twin up and helps him limp his way to the dining room as quickly as possible; of they didn’t make it to the table quick enough, there wouldn’t be any food. They only needed a little bit between the two of them, but the other children ate everything if they get there soon enough. 

The three children in care are the first at the table, and they take their plates gratefully, moving to the table. Logan and Patton sit next to each other, watching as the other kids arrive at the table as well. They eat quietly until David clears his throat. 

“Logan, Patton.” 

Patton raises his head. Logan keeps his down. 

“You two are going home.” 

Silence. They blink. “H- Home?” Patton asks shyly. Ally nods. 

“Your father is going to pick you up at the police station after dinner. So pack your bags right away.” 

Neither mention that they don’t have bags, simply nodding and finishing their dinner rushedly.  _Home_ – 

They’re going home. 


	14. Chapter 14

“I– I dunno– a- a lot of things happened, what if–” 

“Virgil, everything will be fine.”  

“B- But–” Roman’s hands fall on Virgil’s shoulders, and Virgil immediately sighs, letting his shoulders slump. He buries his face in his hands. “Sorry– Sorry, it’s just…One small thing, one small thing can hurt them for a lifetime and I know Amber, I know the foster care system…I’m just worried. I didn’t mean to freak out, I…” 

“It’s perfectly normal. Don’t worry.” Roman whispers, pulling Virgil in for a hug. “You just want to make sure they’re ok. I’m worried, too.”  

Virgil looks up at Roman, and he looks so small, so broken, and Roman has to calm his beating heart. V _irgil is straight, he doesn’t like me. Stop getting your hopes up._ “Y- You…Are?” 

“Of course. I’ve told you before, I really do love all of you. You’re like my family.” He says. His voice definitely doesn’t crack.  

…And, well, if it does it’s totally worth the bright grin Virgil gives him. 

“Thank you, so much. I– I love you too, Roman. I know the boys do too.” He whispers. “You’re…the best thing that’s happened to us.”  

Roman gulps. They make eye contact, and, for a second Roman thinks that they’re a little bit closer than they thought; but the moment is broken, or maybe saved, when the door opens and two little figures enter the room. 

“Daddy! Roman!”  

“Logan–!”  

“Patton!”  

Logan jumps into Virgil’s arms, and Roman scoops Patton into his arms, and all of them are grinning like crazy. “We missed you guys so much!” 

“We missed you guys too,” Patton says, and suddenly there are tears in his eyes. Roman trades Patton for Logan so Virgil can hold his other son, cooing. They sit there for a long while, crying, smiling. Before long, they’re ushered out of the room they’d been shoved into at the courthouse (the courthouse where the judge was paid off by Amber–) and they get to go home. Home, for the first time all together, in just over a month.  

As a family. 


	15. Chapter 15

Despite the joy of getting the boys back, their little family doesn’t fall right back into routine. 

 Upon taking the boys home, Virgil realizes that quite a bit of damage was done. Logan sleeps in his own bed, now, and there are mornings when Virgil is woken up in the morning by his youngest stuffing his soiled sheets and wet clothes into the washing machine with tears in his eyes. It breaks his heart to see Logan like that, not asking for help like he used to, and just doing it on his own. He’s only five, he doesn’t know any better. 

Not only that, but Patton refuses to use his wheelchair, even though his leg isn’t completely healed. Neither boys eat very much, and flinch at sudden noises (not unlike Virgil himself, but he’s sure that it isn’t anxiety that’s making his beautiful sons like this). They’re more independent from the adults, and more dependant on each other-- even their teacher at school has noticed. 

It takes weeks -- long, tiring weeks filled with counselling sessions with the school counselor and bonding with Virgil and Roman -- before the boys start looking like their old selves. With pudgy cheeks and bright eyes, smiles that light up Virgil’s world. Patton rests more often, Logan asks for help when he has an accident again. They’re  _eating_. 

He’s missed it. 

Roman is gone to work, now, during the day and Virgil can take less shifts now that they have two sources of income. Apparently, Roman’s students adore him in the short two months he’s been teaching. He’s even thinking about directing the school play. 

Even with Roman working, there’s hardly any need for a new babysitter. The boys get off of school at the same time as Roman’s school, and he picks them up from the school daycare at four o’clock, if Virgil already hasn’t. They all eat meals together, now, since Virgil is home at seven, and it’s all so...domestic. 

Virgil likes it, he does, but...being home more, it’s reminding Virgil of how much Roman means to him. How much it hurts that Roman definitely doesn’t feel the same about him. Of course Roman  _cares_ \-- but not the way Virgil does. 

Roman sees the boys as family, as his own, but he very clearly sees Virgil as his brother or something with all of the teasing he sends Virgil’s way. It never hurts, just stupid nicknames based off of his favorite style of music, in which Virgil regrets ever revealing in one of their many midnight chats. 

The-- The point is, Virgil is terribly, painfully, in love. 

And Roman doesn’t love him back. 

“Roman?” 

Thomas the Tank Engine plays on the TV quietly, and Virgil briefly wonders why children’s TV programs think kids are up this late. Roman hums. 

“I’m...Thank you. For sticking through all of this. I’m sure you could have found another place, if you really wanted to, but you stayed with me and helped me...so. Thanks. I really don’t know what I would’ve done without you here.” 

Roman nods sleepily. It is 11:30 at night, and they both have work in the morning. 

“I don’t want to be anywhere else. You and your boys are important to me.” He whispers, voice hoarse, and Virgil smiles. 

“Right.” He stands, hiding the tears that pool in his eyes. “We should get to bed. You can’t be the best teacher ever if you’re half asleep.” 

Roman snorts, standing as well. One of his hands fall on Virgil’s shoulder, and he jumps. 

“Get some sleep, Virge. It’s your day to drop the boys off tomorrow.” 

“Got it.” Virgil nods. He shuts off the TV, leaving them in silence. He smiles at Roman. “Night, Ro.” 

“Night.” 

Virgil makes his way to his basement, his steps somehow always silent on the creaky wooden stairs. Roman watches him go, before collapsing back onto the couch. 

He’s starting to think maybe Virgil isn’t straight, not exclusively, at least. He looks at guys in the grocery store with a special curiosity that no straight man would, and-- well, he definitely hasn’t dated anyone since Amber. Roman knows that much. But...He could never like Roman. Roman is just his roommate, his weird roommate, at that. The one who calls his kids his own kids like some freak, and who cuddles with him late at night while they watch children’s TV programs and talk. 

If anything, Virgil sees him as an annoying little brother. 

He just wishes Virgil liked him back. 

Even if he did, though, he wouldn’t pursue it. That’s what hurts most. Because he doesn’t know how the boys would react, and he wants Logan and Patton to trust him. They’re smart boys, and would probably assume he only tolerated them because he liked their dad-- which is completely false. He loves those boys like they’re his own. He just also loves their dad. But they wouldn’t understand that, they’ve been through a lot and he’d understand if they hated him. 

Which is why he can’t give them a reason to hate him. 

...But the Sanders family is making this really hard! 

“Ro, c’n-- c’n me ‘n you stay with us tonight?” Patton yawns sleepily, nuzzling into Roman’s side. It’s late -- or, at least later than the twins usually go to bed -- but it isn’t a school night and Roman knows they’ve been having trouble sleeping as of late. Logan is already passed out on the floor, wrapped in a coarse blanket that Patton refuses to even touch but the younger twin loves. 

Roman smiles. “How about we make a pillow fort tonight and sleep in it?” 

At this, Patton gasps, eyes lighting up. “Really?! Can daddy sl- slee--sleep in it too when he gets home?” 

Virgil was working a later shift than usual, since he’d been sick again recently. 

“I...I don’t see why not,” Roman says, putting on a fake smile. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to last, so close to Virgil... “But we need to make it extra big, then! Daddy and I are way too big to fit in a castle the size of a prince. Do you think you’re up for the challenge of building a king-sized castle?” 

Patton positively squeals. “Yes sir!” 

When Virgil comes back later that night, he’s exhausted. All he wants to do is go to bed, and fall asleep for the next twelve hours. However, as he’s making his way through the darkened house, he kicks something soft. He isn’t worried, Logan probably left his stuffed animals out. So he moves to push past it, but he only succeeds in tripping. He stumbles forwards, tripping again on something else, and getting tangled in a-- a blanket? 

He finally finds the wall again, and flips on the light switch. In front of him, on the living room floor, Patton and Roman are snuggled together, hanging out of the roof of a half-built blanket fort. They aren’t covered up, but more blankets from around the house lay nearby like they were planning on making an even bigger fort and snuggling up inside. Logan lay completely inside the crudely made fort, snuggled up in his favorite blanket. Logan’s glasses are set on the coffee table, which had been set aside, but Patton clearly fell asleep before he could take his off. Virgil smiles, kneeling down next to Patton and sliding off his glasses. 

Patton stirs, blinking his eyes open. Virgil smiles, ruffling his hair and trying to stand, but Patton grabs his hand. 

“Daddy, we made the fort for you too. You and Roman are the kings!” 

Patton’s words make Virgil blush, and he smiles. “Daddy isn’t in his jammies, Pat. Why don’t you guys just sleep here, tonight? There’s hardly enough room in there for all four of us.” 

“That’s why Ro ‘n I are watching the stars! We’re camping!” He says, his voice growing louder in his excitement. “You have to sleep with us, you have to!” 

“Alright, alright, love.” Virgil cringes, kissing Patton’s forehead to quiet him. “I’ll stay. Just let me get changed, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

Patton smiles and settles back to sleep as Virgil stands again and moves to the door. He debates just going to his room and not coming back up until morning, but he promised Patton...

So he changes his clothes and comes back upstairs. For Patton. Not because it’s a way to sleep next to Roman. Totally not. 

He grabs the other blankets, putting a warmer one on Logan and pulling one over Roman and Patton, and is about to lay down by Logan when Patton grabs his hand in his sleep and pulling him down. Virgil grunts, smiling as Patton crawls on top of him, snuggling into him like a baby kitten. He sighs and strokes Patton’s hair gently, humming quietly. 

Virgil falls asleep with his eldest son in his arms and a beautiful boy to his right. Around three a.m, Virgil wakes with a jolt, a nightmare having woken up. He gasps, sitting up stock still. Patton, at some time, rolled away and on the complete other side of the fort. 

Roman stirs, raising his head and blinking sleepily at Virgil. “’irge?..” 

“H- He-- Hey.” He whispers, panting, and clutching his chest. Virgil whimpers, and Roman coos, his eyes filling with concern. He props himself up on his elbows, taking Virgil’s hands in his. He pulls Virgil close, sleepily, and presses his lips against Virgil’s before laying them both down again. 

...Before shooting up three seconds later, eyes blown wide. Virgil stares at him, eyes widening. 

“I-- I d-- I didn-- don-- I--” 

“Oh my god...” 

“I’m so so--” 

“What the f--” 

“I’m so sorry! I’m sorry!” 

Roman quickly scrambles up, eyes wide, and Virgil watches as he rushes out of the house. 

...Fuck. 


	16. Chapter 16

Virgil watches, eyes wide, as the front door slams shut. Logan and Patton stay sleeping, Patton’s somehow curled up in Virgil’s lap, so he can’t run after Roman. He covers his mouth as a strangled sob makes its way up his throat, curling in on himself. Patton whines as he shakes, and he coos, running his hand through his son’s hair. Urging him back to sleep, Virgil carefully lifts him and sets him in the fort with Logan before getting back up and making his way to the kitchen where he can freak out without waking the twins. 

“Fuck.” He runs his fingers through his hair and tugs on it. He whimpers. “Fuck!...” 

He doesn’t remember anything from the kiss. Did he--? Did Roman--? He was so tired, and nerves from his nightmare were still running through his head, he didn’t...he wasn’t aware of...he...

He throws his head against the linoleum tile, covering his mouth. 

“Fuck...” 

The thing is, Roman-- he’s so sweet. He loves his sons like nephews, or brothers-- he sees Virgil as a brother, probably. And he’d gone ahead and-- and fucked this whole thing up. He’d  _kissed_  Roman. 

He’s so fucked. Roman is going to run away, and move out, and he’s going to have to find a new roommate, a new babysitter, he’ll be left alone again. Roman-- Roman is the closest thing to a friend he’s had in years...

“Daddy?..” 

Virgil gasps, clamping a hand over his mouth to muffle a sob as Logan stumbles in, glassesless, rubbing at his eyes sleepily. He sits up and scrubs at his eyes. 

“Daddy? Are you okay?” 

“I-- I’m fine, Lolo.” He says, his voice strangled. 

“Wh-- Where’s Roman?..” Logan asks, making his way into the kitchen. He wraps his tiny arms around Virgil’s shoulders. “You’re crying. He usually helps.” 

This makes Virgil laugh. He wraps his arms around Logan, holding his youngest close. “I don’t think Roman can help right now, love. But it’s okay. Daddy will be okay.” He whispers. 

"Are you sure?..” Logan asks, brows furrowing. He looks worried. 

“I’m-- I’m sure. Let’s get back to bed, huh?” 

Logan shakes his head. Virgil frowns, his brows furrowing now, and he looks at Logan. “Huh?” 

“You need hot chocolate.” 

Virgil can’t help but laugh. “Wh- What?” 

“You need hot chocolate.” Logan repeats, standing and going to the cupboards. He climbs up on the stepping stool and gets onto the counter. Virgil, still on the floor, watches as Logan grabs a mug and hops down, setting it down and moving to the fridge. As he starts making the hot chocolate, he speaks. “You always make hot chocolate for Pat ‘n I when we’re sad.” 

...And with that, Virgil is crying again. Proud tears slip from his cheeks, and Logan puts the mug in the microwave before moving to Virgil. He cups his father’s cheeks in his little hands, and Virgil looks up at Logan with wet eyes. He knows he’s pathetic-- he shouldn’t be crying in front of his kids. They don’t need to see him like this, he’s supposed to be strong for them. 

Logan kisses Virgil’s cheeks, smiling. “I love you, daddy.” 

“I love you too.” Virgil whispers. The microwave beeps, and Virgil smiles softly. He stands and pulls Logan into his arms, moving to the microwave. Fixing the drink for himself, he sits down at the kitchen table with Logan in his lap. He rocks him gently, humming as he sips his hot chocolate. 

By time he’s finished, he’s calmed down a bit and Logan is asleep again. He smiles and makes his way back to the living room, curling up with Logan on one side of him and Patton on the other. 

He may have fucked things up with Roman, but at least he still has his boys. 

* * *

 

Roman runs his hands through his hair, growling in frustration. 

He seriously fucked up. Oh  _god,_  did he mess up!  _Why did he have to kiss Virgil?!_  He can practically still see the fear and confusion in his eyes. Oh god. 

He doesn’t know where to go-- it’s four thirty in the morning now, and he’s a long way from any family members who could take him in. He hasn’t really made many close friends since moving. Sure, he has a few, but surely none who would open the door. 

“Fuck...” He sighs, sitting down on a park bench. He doesn’t really know where he is, it’s so dark, but he doesn’t care. 

He was tired. He’d seen Virgil was scared, and sad, and in his mind he’d just thought...he’d thought a kiss would make it better. He hadn’t been thinking; somewhere in his sleep-addled brain, his many dreams and daydreams told him to kiss him. So he did. And-- And...for a moment, everything was fine. Then he realized what he’d done. 

And boy does he regret it. 

Virgil is going to ask him to move out. He doesn’t have anywhere to go, he can’t move out, he can’t-- but Virgil is definitely disgusted with him now. He’s straight. Even if he knew Roman was gay -- which he hadn’t exactly hidden but hadn’t explicitly said -- kissing him was still out of line. Now Virgil knew that he had feelings for him, and even if he  _wasn’t_  forced to find a new place (because he highly doubts Virgil would be so cruel), things would be so awkward he’d  _have_  to. 

He collapses, not caring that the ground was still wet with morning dew. He falls to the ground, in the middle of a park somewhere, and just sobs. People out on their early morning runs, or walking their dogs before work, watch him with wary eyes. Roman pays them no mind, just crying into his hands. 

He knows, distantly, that he’s having a panic attack. He’s helped Virgil out of them before. His head spins as he tries to calm his breathing, letting his back fall to the ground as well. 

“I-- I’m sorry...Fuck, I’m so sorry Virgil...I thought I could ignore it...” Roman whimpers, curling in on himself. He curses himself, tugging on his hair as he gasps for air. He can’t control himself, however, and soon his vision darkens. 

As he passes out on the cold, damp ground in an unknown park, his last thought is of Virgil and how he’ll need to apologize properly...

...when he wakes up, that is. 

* * *

 


	17. Chapter 17

****When Roman wakes, he’s light-headed. He can hear cicadas chirping loudly, and when he moves he feels sick. The air is already insufferably warm, and he’s coated in sweat, still in his sleep clothes. Groaning, Roman pushes himself, confused as to where he is for a moment. When it hits him, he’s immediately thrown back into his panic. He whimpers, curling up and tugging at his hair, he’s so full into his panic that he doesn’t hear as footsteps approach.

“Hey, man, are you alright?”  

Roman flinches at the sudden voice, looking up to see a younger man looking down at him, concerned. He must look like a mess right now. 

“Y– Yes, I– I am– I apolo– ap- apologi–ze–” Roman gasps, trying to stand. However, he stumbles and falls back down. His world spins, and almost immediately the man is leaning over him, speaking but he can’t understand him.  

“Are you– Are you okay, man?! How long have you been out here?!” The stranger asks, brows furrowed. Roman whimpers, shaking his head.  

“I– I d- don’t know…” he croaks. “How long…I– I’ve been outside…”  

“Shit, man, you need water. Can you stand, if I hold you up?” He asks, trying to help Roman up. Roman shakes his head.  

“No, no I’m– I’m fine–” He says, breaking from the stranger’s gentle hold. He pushes himself up on shaking arms. “I’m fine, don’t worry a- about me–”  

“Dude, no offense, but you look like shit.” The stranger says, easily lifting Roman into his arms and carrying him up. He struggles a bit, his head spinning as he’s carried along. He vaguely thinks he can hear a dog collar clinking next to him as they walk.  

He blacks out again before they reach wherever the stranger is taking them. 

Virgil is starting to get worried. 

It’s a work day for both Virgil and for Roman, but Roman isn’t  _here_. He’s rushing around, getting the twins ready at seven, and calling Roman helplessly. No answer. When he puts the boys in the car to take them to school, there was still no answer. 

By time he drops the kids, he’s called Roman almost thirty times. It’s warm, and sticky, and he knows it’s going to be hell at work. He hopes Roman is going to be okay. 

Roman blinks awake, his eyesight blurred. Fuck…His head pounds. He looks around when he wakes up, rubbing at his eyes and groaning. He…doesn’t know where he is. 

“Ah, you’re finally awake.”  

Roman jumps, looking at the stranger from earlier. He vaguely notices that he’s on a fairly nice couch, in the middle of a messy apartment. 

“Wh– What’s…” He tries to sit up, at least, but his body protests. “Fuck– What..?”  

“I found you in the park, passed out on the ground, man.” The stranger explains. Roman looks at the clock– it’s one in the afternoon, now. He curses, pushing himself up, but the stranger has him lay down. “Woah, woah, lay down buddy! You’ve got heat stroke or something, you need some water.”  

“I– I have to be at work…fuck…” He sighs, running his hands through his hair. He didn’t call into work, oh god– He’ll definitely get in trouble for this, if he doesn’t get fired. Oh god. “I need– I need to go…”  

The stranger shakes his head and stands, knowing he’s not going to get far. He comes back with a water bottle, handing it to Roman (who hasn’t even gotten sat up properly). 

“I’m Terrence, by the way.”  

“Roman. I– What happened?..” He asks, running his hands through his hair. He groans, downing the water in one large gulp. 

“I found you in the park at around ten. You were passed out, and when you woke up you started freaking out.” Terrence says. “I didn’t think you were drunk…I looked for an ID on you, too, but you didn’t have one so I didn’t take you to the hospital.” 

“Thank you,” Roman grunts. He sits up, his head spinning. “I’m so sorry to inconvenience you…”  

“Ah, it’s no trouble. I didn’t really want to go into work today, and a stranger passed out in the park seemed like a good excuse to me.” At Roman’s mortified look, Terrance laughs, clapping him on the back. “I’m just kidding with you, man. I work from home.” 

Roman relaxes, if only a bit. 

“Now, care to explain to me why I found you passed out in the middle of a park on my walk this morning?”  

“I…” Roman sighs. “I made a bit of a mistake last night…”  

“Too much to drink? I think we’ve all been there.”  

Roman shakes his head, smiling softly at Terrence’s attempt to cheer him up. “No, no. I made a, uh– a worse mistake than a few too many. I…My roommate, they’re a…remarkable person. They are a wonderful, loving single parent and they let me into their home, and I’ve…I’ve come to love them. And their children. However I…I love my roommate as more than a friend, and last night…in a slip-of-mind moment, I kissed them.” 

Terrence makes a noise of acknowledgement and Roman takes this as a sign to continue. 

“I…kissed them, and we were both half asleep but I could still see the panic, the betrayal…” He shakes his head. “No, I– I’m so sorry…you shouldn’t have to hear this…” 

Terrence shakes his head. “Nah, no, it’s okay.” He says, smiling. “So, you kissed them and they freaked out.” 

“Yeah.” Roman says, nodding. “So I see them panicking, and I panic, and so I just…get up and run. I ran, and ran…I don’t know where I went, I just wandered…and I ended up passing out. The last I remember, I think a bank clock I passed read around six thirty…”  

“So you passed out at six thirty, and…I found you at nine-ish…” Terrence shakes his head. “Man, I’m sorry to hear that…”  

“It’s fine–” Roman laughs at that understatement. “Well, it’s not fine, but…I’m okay. I should…I should get home, though.  

“Are you sure you’ll be okay? You’re still a bit hot looking. At least let me drive you home.”  

“Oh, you don’t have to–” Roman rushes, eyes wide at this stranger’s kindness. 

“No, no, it’s okay, really! I’d hate to let you go off on your own, especially not feeling well. I’ll get you another water bottle and I’ll bring you home. Alright?”  

“Really?” Roman brightens, smiling. “You’re far too kind, Terrence! I don’t know how I’ll repay you!”  

Terrence simply brushes him off. “It’s fine, man. I just wanna make sure you get back there alright. Let me just grab you another bottle of water. 

Roman watches as Terrence goes off, his eyes falling on the labrador retriever he’d only just noticed on the floor. His thoughts are pulled away from Virgil a moment, and he squeals, practically throwing himself to the floor to pet her. 

Maybe Terrence helping him out wasn’t so bad after all. 

Virgil practically falls to the couch when he gets home, exhausted. After only five hours at work, he’s exhausted and sweating. He knew he should have taken the night shift again, but he honestly hates this job anyway and if he had to miss putting the twins to bed again he’s probably quit. 

He only has a few hours to get changed and get to the grocery store for his afternoon shift there, and he’s going to spend them relaxing. 

…Or so he thinks. 

It’s a little past twelve thirty when he hears the door open, and he jumps up, eyes wide. He knows exactly who’s here. 

“R- Roman…”  

Roman, who looks beat to hell, looks up. He gives Virgil a nervous smile, he looks so  _pained_ …

“Roman, about last night–”  

“I’m so sorry, Virgil.”  

Virgil blinks, brows furrowing. “…Sorry?” 

“Yes, I’m sorry.” Roman repeats, and Virgil frowns. “I– That shouldn’t have happened, I was tired, and–”  

“Roman, _I_ was just about to apologize to  _you_.” Virgil says. He’s so confused right now, what is Roman saying? “I– _I_  kissed  _you_  last night.  _I_  should be the one apologizing.”  

“What? No you didn’t, I–”  

They both freeze, looking at one another. 

“…We both kissed each other, didn’t we?”  

“Oh my god…”  

Virgil stares at roman, the words hanging in the air. “We both kissed each other, didn’t we?” They…They both kissed…

“I think I’m going to pass out…” He mumbles, his brain numb, and even though he isn’t actually going to faint Roman is right there in front of him, holding his waist and guiding him to the couch. He sits down, but he doesn’t feel a thing, even though one of Logan’s plastic dinosaur toys is digging into his thigh. Roman chuckles, looking positively overjoyed. 

“I…I suppose we need to talk.” He says. Virgil nods. Roman takes a deep breath and sighs, still holding Virgil’s waist like he’s made of glass. “Virgil Sanders, I… I love you. I have for a while. A- At first, you were just a roommate, I didn’t think I’d fall in love with you, and you have to know that I never expected anything from you. Ever. I was fine with being just friends. It’s what I expected, and still do, because you probably hate me now but you need to know–”  

“R- Roman…” Virgil breathes, awed by his words.  

“But I still loved you anyway– I– I still love you, Virgil…The way you never want to ask for help, even when you need it. The way you never give up for your boys, even if it means doing something you don’t want to do.” 

“Roman…” 

“I love the way your eyes light up when you see Logan and Patton after a long day of work, or– or how you keep on the boys’ cartoons even after they’re asleep because they calm you down after a bad day. I love everything about you, from your soft-looking hair to your sharp tongue. And I’m _so sorry_  I’ve ruined everything.”  

Virgil waits a moment to see if Roman’s done. He…doesn’t know what to say. Oh god, he’s seriously messed up, hasn’t he? He can see tears in Roman’s eyes and he tsks, cupping his cheeks with shaking hands and wiping the tears away with his thumbs. 

“Roman, I…I’m so sorry I made you feel like you messed up last night. I– I was surprised, is all. I love you too. I’ve just been…Scared to say it. I’ve had my heart broken before, and I don’t want another Amber in my life. I’m so scared to hurt you, and to be hurt. I’m terrified of my boys being hurt. But…I know you would never do a thing to hurt them, ever. I trust you with all my heart, but deep down I was… I was scared, and I let that fear control me.  

“But I won’t again. Roman, I love you.“  

“Y- You do?..” Roman asks, his voice small. Virgil nods.  

“Very much.”  

Roman deflates, sighing in relief, and tugs Virgil into a tight hug. “You aren’t faking it to make me happy?” 

“Absolutely not. You can see right through me, you’d know if I was, you dork.”  

“You say that, but love makes people blind.” Roman whispers. “We both clearly know that.”  

Virgil laughs, tears pooling in his eyes. He holds Roman tighter. 

“Right. We do.”  

“Virgil?”  

“Yes?”  

“Can I– Can I kiss you?..”  

“Of course. C’mere.”  

Roman grins, pulling away from the hug to look Virgil in the eye. They both have tears in their eyes. Slowly, oh-so slowly, they lean in and press their lips together. 

When they pull apart, there are grins on their lips. 

“…Can this count as our first kiss instead?”  

“Definitely.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman is totally ooc here I’m positive of it. Also, this is the last chapter! An epilogue is due, and then that will be the end of Falling (falling). I was thinking about doing a bit of a q&a about the process of writing this, but i doubt I’d get any questions. Anyway, enjoy these dorks finally getting together.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue-- everything's over!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to pop by my tumblr (@that-space-gay-writes) and ask any questions about the process of writing this fic, or just general screaming, go on ahead! I'd love to hear you guys' questions! Thanks everyone who read this and stuck through <3

“Roman!” 

Roman looks up from where he’s cuddled up with Logan and Patton, Bob the builder playing on the tv. He smiles when he sees Virgil stomping up the basement stairs. His arms are crossed, and he glares holes in Roman. 

“Yes, dear?” 

Virgil’s cheeks heat up at the pet name, but he quickly shakes his head and schools his face. “Where’s my stuff?” 

Patton giggles, but quickly covers his mouth when Virgil’s head whips to him, jaw dropped. 

“Patton? Do you know what Ro did with daddy’s stuff?” Patton shakes his head and Virgil groans, turning his glare back towards Roman. “Now you have my children in on this? Seriously, Roman, where’s my stuff? I need to get ready for work.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Roman says, snickering, and Virgil stomps his feet like a child. 

“Roman!” 

The sight of his cute, cute boyfriend (boyfriend) pouting is too much for Roman, and he bursts out laughing, smiling brightly at Virgil. 

“Why don’t you check your room?” 

“I was just in my room--!” 

“I mean your room, Virgil. Your real room.” 

Virgil blinks, brows furrowing. He frowns. “I...Don’t understand.” 

“The room you sleeped in before Roman came to stay with us, daddy!” Patton says. 

“Slept,” Virgil corrects immediately, the rest of Patton’s words falling to deaf ears for a moment. Then it hits him, and his eyes widen. “Roman! You--” 

“I always hated the fact that you moved into the basement for me.” Roman says, his voice serious. He looks at Virgil with a soft smile. “I...Assumed that, now that we’re together, you wouldn’t mind it if we shared a room. And a bed.” 

He shrugs, cheeks gradually turning a light pink, and in less than a second Virgil is hugging him tight. “You dork,” He says, wiping at the tears in his eyes, “You could have just suggested it, instead of surprising me.” 

“I wanted to surprise you. It’s romantic, is it not?” 

Virgil laughs, a bright, happy laugh, and Roman falls in love for the fourth time this week. Virgil kisses him gently, practically purring. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.” He says, kissing Virgil back. He pushes him gently. “Go, get ready for work. I’ll have a quick dinner made before you head off to class at six.” 

“Thank you, love. I’ll see you soon.” 

Virgil stands, kissing Patton and Logan’s heads, and rushes off to work. Roman watches, cuddled up with his boys still, with a soft smile on his face. 

Everything is finally alright. 


End file.
